Posts Tagged ‘DID’

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More Art Up…

October 13, 2010

I put more art up on my art blog. Although I enjoy sharing my art…especially if it will encourage someone else to do healing hard…the work of uploading and posting is a bit tedious. I think, though, that perhaps the harder part…the more tiring part…is revisiting all the art pieces.

Some of the art pieces are joyful. Some are processing. Some are uplifting. Some are just plain hard work. I don’t really have time to reflect on the joyful ones. Nor do I have time to really reprocess the hard work ones. It is a mixed bag…a bit of an emotional roller coaster. So, I do them in batches.

I just published several art pieces…adding notes as I went. I also uploaded several more pieces into drafts. Later I will put notes on them and publish them. They don’t all need notes, but I do want to get tags and categories on them. Speaking of which, I don’t do a very good job of making a distinction between categories and tags. So, I just duplicate one for the other. Whatever tags I use…those are the categories I use. I guess that works.

I like being somewhat organized…and maybe even too much so. This living situation has definitely taken its toll on that part of my life. I cannot keep track of much of anything living like this. I am anticipating moving into the house almost with bated breath. But not quite. I do need to breathe. Our prayer is to get in before the cold weather really hits. It has been unseasonably warm here due to drought. I appreciate the rain we are having tonight, but don’t want to lose the warmer weather…not just yet.

My heavenly Abba is holding me together…as usual. Even when I am in my lowest points and going through my greatest struggles, He is here with me. My Rock. The Holder of my heart. I just could not do this life any other way. Once we get into the house…I know there will be other struggles and issues. In fact, it is going to be interesting to see what happens system-wise.

I have not been able to visit and keep up with my friends blogs and such…but I do hold each of you in my heart. I think of you. I pray for you all (hope you don’t mind – I pray for your well-being and strength and comfort and healing and whatever else comes to mind). I hope the best for you all. Sending love and hugs to all who want!

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How a Webinar Is Done…

August 19, 2010

A webinar is an online seminar. Instead of going to a physical place, you sign in to an online site…from the comfort of your own home. That is nice because you don’t have to be concerned about traffic or getting there on time. You also get to have handy whatever you need to help you keep grounded…or to get grounded if something in the webinar triggers you. All those who are signed up will receive an email with the site address and the log in. Via that site, you get to watch the slides used by the presenter.

A second email invites everyone to the webinar conference call. The email includes a phone number with a sign in code. That connects everyone in a single call. Those listening mute their phones while the presenter is speaking to cut down on background noise. There are times given for feedback or questions. Most presenting sites also have call in or microphone capability. Not each site is equal in its quality or features, though. Therefore, Survivorship has chosen to use one site’s call-in software and another site’s presenting software.

So, you receive two emails…one with the call-in information and one with the link for the log-in to see the slides. It is a very interesting experience. Oh…and another thing. There is a side chat window for those who have difficult with speaking on the phone. It is possible to ask the presenter questions there.

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Injury?…

July 4, 2010

Paul recently wrote about injury in the context of DID. My mind is swirling so much that I found it challenging to focus on what he wrote. I wish I had copied my reply before kicking it off.

I was injured…methodically…repeatedly…starting when I was a little girl…although I don’t think I ever thought of using the word “injure”. Perhaps that was because it was mostly non-physical. My injuries were mostly in the “heart” and mind…the internal stuff that no one really sees.

Although I feel very injured…I don’t remember ever putting that word to it. No…I used words like “defective”, “less than”, “not good enough”, “failing” and “broken” and phrases like “what’s wrong with me?” Injured…hm.

So…now I have a question:  Was the DID that resulted from the injury also an injury in itself? I don’t know. It was a coping mechanism…self-defense…a way to survive otherwise unsurvivable horrors.

These are just some thoughts rambling through my brain today.

EDITING IN:

Here is some of I wrote at Paul’s post. It gives an idea of how what he wrote first hit me:

Good vs bad. Helpful vs. hurtful. Needed vs. needing to be discarded. What is DID? As I read your post here I think of how I was so injured
growing up…injured to the point of developing DID in order to “survive”. I still feel injured.

Injury causing DID in the beginning. DID causing further injury later in life as it no longer fully helps and starts to actually hinder real functionality.

Seriously…my brain feels very non-functioning right now. DID? I don’t know. I want to cry. I think the idea of injury touches me deeply. I
have never…that I know of…ever used the word “injury” to describe anything that happened to me in regard to DID or even PTSD. Wow!

Injury. I was injured. It caused DID. Is the DID actually an injury in itself? I don’t know. It seems more like it was the bandage that was applied to try to keep the injury from getting worse.

Sorry…I don’t even know if I am making sense. I want to understand what you wrote, but all I can offer is how it effected me…what I internalized and am trying to share back. I want to cry. What else is new lately?

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The Reality of DID…Make a Difference in South Africa!

June 25, 2010

There are many countries in the world where DID is not acknowledged. Those who have it are either misdiagnosed, told they have demons (depending upon who they turn to for help)…or they are vilified as making things up…playacting for attention. I don’t know which of these things is the most harmful…or the most hurtful. They are all bad…wrong.

There is a LOT of evidence…concrete evidence…for DID aka Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly called MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder). The reality of the disorder and the reality of the symptoms is very evident. Yet, there are places…like South Africa…where they persist in denying its existence.

Regarding the demons…can there be a spiritual side to DID? Yes…most definitely…especially when the abusers use spirituality as an element of their abuse. You see this especially with RA (Ritual Abuse) and SRA (Satanic Ritual Abuse). Can a person have demons? Yes. I know this for fact. HOWEVER…demons are NOT the cause of DID! They may be a factor in the system…they may influence…but demons are NOT alters. I knew a leader in a Christian congregation whose wife worked with multiples as a therapist. He used to tell me there is a saying. It goes something like this: too many times pastors are trying to exorcise alters while therapists are trying to work with or integrate demons. All aspects need to be looked at to see what fits and what does not.

Then there is the play acting for attention. I think, of all the possibilities, that this one is the most ridiculous I have ever heard of. The kind of attention multiples tend to get when they are switching is NOT positive! In fact, it can be downright embarrassing and humiliating.  I know so many who have been treated so badly by those who did not understand DID. They were judged and rejected when they most needed love and understanding.

What is worse is when someone tries to explain what is going on and the others refuse to believe. It does not matter whether it is someone in ministry, a therapist, an insurance company or just a neighbor or friend who witnesses the switching. When they refuse to accept the reality of DID, they do the person having it a huge disservice.

Oftentimes, education is the key. Many don’t know simply because they have not heard. Or…having heard…they think of Hollywood images like The Three Faces of Eve or some other rather “extreme” case. There are many “flavors” of DID and people need to have a way to learn about them.

So…how can YOU help? There is a blog that has been started by multiplegifted. She is trying to help bring the reality of the existence of DID to South Africa. I figure she can tell you best what she is looking for. Here is the link:

DID – change the law…together we can!

Please check it out and help…if you can.

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Best Friends – For My Little Friends!

May 9, 2010

I made this with my little friends in mind. I hope it makes you smile.

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EEG Test on a Multiple

May 8, 2010

The Woman With 15 Personalities This woman was given an EEG test to see if there would be any physiological differences between alters. It is an ineresting video.

Of course, there are those who would say that the changes noted could be controlled by Paula.  There will always be naysayers.  It took a lot of guts to go through this. She found a validation for herself.

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What to Do With Anger?

April 19, 2010

I am writing. I have a poem I have been working on that I hope to finish in the next day or two at most. Tomorrow I am busy, but on Wednesday at least, I hope to finish it and give it to the one I need to communicate with. I think a poem might help get the message across in a somewhat neutral way. I hope. It is a “group” effort and I will post it here on the blog when I am done.

For me, I try to use anger as a catalyst. I try to find creative ways to express it…even when I find myself limited by my situation. I can only go so long feeling as if I am trapped in someone else’s schedule…forced to live in an environment that is so not suited to what I have been created to need. It is only my Abba who sustains me/us.

I will keep on hoping for change…and for it to be fairly soon. Right now, there are no signs of anything happening and we have no control over it. We have to trust our heavenly Abba. I know that a few of you readers know who I really am and you can see from what I write in other places what is going on…or not going on as the case may be.

Trust…it is all about trust. A lot of that trust has to do with knowing that my Abba will bring me through this…all of me. I hope to write more tomorrow or Wednesday.

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