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April 12, 2008

Well, today I had to revisit the place where I got triggered so badly by the music last week. But, I got smart this time. I just knew I could not go it alone. So, I made some phone calls. The first two were unavailable; so, I moved on to the next friend. Having an SRA history, as well as a recovery background, makes it interesting in trying to figure out who to call. Add the DID to that and well, it can get interesting. I got hold of a dear sister/friend and she prayed for me. And it really helped! The music did NOT trigger me. Something else did…but not too badly…it was manageable. It actually went very well! Praise Yahweh!

After 22 years in recovery I am relearning how to reach out, especially via the telephone. I have been kind of knocked onto my rear end. Although I have not been drinking, I feel as if I have. I feel as if I have just walked into recovery and need to get sober. Boy, do I remember those initial times in AA and how I felt. It has been over 17 years since I have had an alcoholic drink and yet it feels as if it were only yesterday. Wow! Phew!

Last Wednesday, I walked out of my t appointment and called someone from the grocery store parking lot. It was one of those times when I really wanted to go Home badly (although I would never act on that feeling) and I wanted to drink.

On the way home I called a dear brother…although he needed to talk more than I did at that point. That was good, too. Part of being helped is also helping others. I have also reached out online. Three calls, one IM…four people. Four dear friends who are willing to be there for me. I am SO blessed. And I know I have other friends, too, that I can call. How VERY blessed I am. These are all people who understand…even if only in part…my mental/emotional survivor issues. How awesome is that?

I am amazed at how Yahweh/God provides for me. I have prayed for Him to show me His provision…and you know what? He is! More and more…He is! Woohoo!

3 comments

  1. I like the He is WooHoo.. 🙂 🙂

    yes maam.

    Pinky


  2. Hey, Pinky…good to see you!

    love and hugs!


  3. Wow! I had forgotten about this. That was such a hard time and I was unable to go to any recovery meetings. But I had a solid program/lifestyle and knew how to work through it. I now have 29 years clean and sober.



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