Darkness to Sunshine to Darkness

April 17, 2008

Yep, the sun is shining outside. It is a beautiful day dawning.

Yet, I can feel the darkness closing in again..inside. The pain is back. Oh, well. I wish the sunshine had lasted longer, but at least I did get some much needed warmth and light! Yep…that is me…always trying to see the positive side of things.

Most of the time it feels as if I am living in shades of gray…like the twilight times of day…with periods of darkness…like the night. Oh, the sun does peak out for moments at a time. It is not that I never experience times of joy and light. It is just that those times are sporadic and short lived.

The twilight always comes back and with it…the darkness eventually comes in like a flash flood. There is rarely a warning…it just hits with sudden force…knocking me flat. It is in those times of intense emotional pain that it feels the darkest. It is in those times that the struggle is the greatest. It is in those times that I am even more grateful for Yeshua/Jesus. I can honestly say that, if it were not for Him in my life…if it were not for Him holding me close to His heart…I would not be able to live this life. It is only through His Spirit that I can get through this. I am so thankful to be a daughter of Yahweh…so thankful that I belong to Yeshua.

Life is hard. I am not going to pretend it is not. That is not what being a follower of Yeshua is about. In fact, He told us that we would have trials and tribulations, especially if we are His followers. I have seen that in my own life. Yet, I love Him and, with His strength, I will never give that love up.

One comment

  1. One thing I remind myself of is that I was living in a tiny RV during these years. From the start of this blog until sometime in 2012. Three of us. So, on top of the survivor stuff, I was also dealing with that living situation. I serve an amazing G-d who got me through it all!

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