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Working Through Things and Parent’s Days

May 9, 2008

Sometimes it can be really hard to work through some things. It is like, no matter which way we turn, no matter how we look at it, it is going to be hard. There is going to be pain.

I had a flashback last night…totally unexpected…at least the timing of it was. The nature of the flashback was actually pretty predictable…given my family history. But no one likes to remember things that make them feel badly…or that might put them in a bad light. But that is the nature of the cult.

I am struggling a bit to allow the memories to flow freely. That is always a challenge. I know that I could not face the hidden memories without Yahweh’s help. Nope…just could not do it.

This coming weekend is Mother’s Day. I don’t like Mother’s Day. It is a painful day for many and, for others, it is a cop out. It is very commercialized. Ick!

For many, it is painful as they remember lost children, or children they never were able to have. Or as they remember painful childhoods. For some, their mothers were abusive. For some, their mothers died when they were very young. For others, they feel guilty because they know they were not the kind of mother they could have been…or should have been. Some are estranged from their children…through no fault of their own…and this is just a very painful reminder. And for some, it is the only time of year that they are really acknowledged…and this day just rubs in the hurt of that as they wonder how sincere their children are really being.

Some people use it as a cop out. They figure that they are doing OK so long as they at least remember to do something nice for Mom one day a year. If a mother is truly a good mother, she deserves more than one day a year. We should all be expressing our gratitude to good mothers a whole lot more often than one day a year. Don’t do something on one day because it is expected. Surprise her! And, if a mother is a horrible mother, then why should anyone feel pressured to do something nice for her?

*sigh* I don’t know. I just know that I don’t like this time of year. I don’t like Mother’s Day and I don’t like Father’s Day…same reasons.

Don’t get me wrong. There are many unsung heroes out there known as mothers and fathers. They do deserve to be honored and acknowledged and treated special…but it should be all year…not just on one day. And for those of us who are unable to have a real and loving relationship with our mothers (and fathers), well, we should not feel pressured to do something nice for them just because it is “Mother’s Day” or “Father’s Day”.

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