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True and Real Friendships

June 10, 2008

It can really be hard to let a friend go. But, sometimes, that is exactly what we need to do. Let them go, trusting that, maybe…someday…they will return to us.

True friends love through thick and thin. They don’t let conflict destroy the friendship, even though they may need to part for a time. I continue to love and hold in my heart friends that I am separated from. I pray for them.

The separations are due to a variety of reasons. With some of them it is because of their cult connections. They are simply not safe for me to be in contact with. Yet, my heart grieves for them and longs for them. I want to call them or try to contact them. I have at least one sister-friend who I don’t know for sure is cult connected, but something in my spirit keeps telling me to stay away…keeps saying that she most likely is. *sigh*

That is so like the cult…to make sure your closest friends are part of it. It keeps you connected and in contact. Yet, I love them all. I miss them. I know their struggles. I have shared some of their struggles…walked with them…arm in arm. They are my sister-friends and I miss them so much. *tears* One even triggered suicide programming. I think it was an alter that did it, not the host, but even so, I had to separate from her as I was spiraling out of control in my friendship with her.

I do have some friends I am separated from due to conflict…but I will always love them. I will hope and pray that enough healing comes for a reconciliation. But if not, that is OK. I do not consider them to be enemies. I know who the true enemy is…and it is not human.

I am known for my loyalty. Perhaps I am, at times, too loyal for my own good. I don’t walk away from a true friend easily. I can leave an acquaintance and not look back even once; but a true friend…no, that is not so easily accomplished. But I let them go when they need to be let go…with a grieving, yet hopeful, heart.

I do not connect easily, but once I do…it is usually a deeper connection. I think that is one reason that phone connections are harder than online ones. It is easier to go deeper in friendships when there is an in person, or at least a voice, connection. When it is just the written word, it is easier to think in terms of black words on a white page rather than skin tones and warm hands.

Real friendships are ones where we can share the things that bother us…the things that hurt us…even when it is the other one causing it. Real friends listen and weigh things out. They seek to believe the best about one another and don’t presume motive. They ask questions and listen for answers…with open hearts. I value the real friendships I have. They are iron sharpening iron…unafraid to be challenged and not wanting to be flattered. True friends will tell the truth, in love. As one person shared with me…they will put your tag back inside the back of your blouse…the same tag that everyone noticed, but did nothing about.

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2 comments

  1. Hi, I find this post as well as all of your writing to be very real and forthcoming.

    My heart aches for your pain.

    Keep on writing is a good way of expressing yourself.

    Love,

    A


  2. Thank you! I try to be real.

    I appreciate your concern!



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