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Deep, Abiding Sadness

June 12, 2008

There are times when I feel such a deep ache…an abiding sadness. It seems to go all through me to the depths of my being. It is in those times that I find myself wanting to cry. It is not really a feeling of despair as it is simply…sadness.

I am not totally sure where it comes from…or why it is there. I only know that it comes…a lot. Perhaps…it is from a loss of dreams? Perhaps…I had the wrong dreams to begin with? I don’t know.

I find myself yearning…longing, but for what? I want to want to

Yet, if I truly trust Him for my wellbeing, then I guess I have to accept that I am right where I am supposed to be. I am supposed to be right here…with my deep, abiding sadness…and with my yearning and longing…and with my inner battle.

Is this what the rest of life is meant to be for me? I don’t know. I have had times of wonder and joy…and I still do…at times. I like to believe that this is temporary and that, at some point this side of heaven, I will again experience more of that. For now, though, I sit here in my sadness…wondering…seeking…reaching out to Him.

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2 comments

  1. Would like to offer you a safe hug my friend. If you want think of it as a hug from my heart where the true Jesus lives to your heart where I believe he also lives. Thus making it a Jesus hug.

    Love,

    A


  2. Thank you so much, my friend. Your Jesus hug is a very precious gift to me. *tears* I truly believe that true Jesus lives in your heart. I have seen Him many times in your actions.

    Love,
    F



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