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Evaluating Connections

September 29, 2008

I’ve been taking a look at my life and at my connections to other people. I think it is time to take a look at what connections are strong and what ones are weak…and why. Which ones build up and which ones tear down…in either direction.

I don’t want to be someone who tears anyone down, even inadvertantly. Nor do I wish to be torn down…naturally. I don’t want to be someone who disappoints others, either. Realistically, though, that is going to happen…the disappointment anyway. I certainly don’t set out to tear anyone, although, that does not mean that someone cannot “perceive” it that way.

I only have so much time and energy and I am realizing that I am not spending enough of what I do have with the One person who means the absolute most to me…or who should mean the most anyway. If time spent is an indication of priorities, then this One does not have the right priority in my life.

That is a lot of what I am working on right now. I have to spend time doing life. There is no way around that. However, I also need to take time with my Creator…Yeshua/Jesus. The more I do that, the easier it gets to make it through life. Notice…I did NOT write “easy”. Nope, life is very difficult for me, especially with my living situation. I just know that, without Him, I am dust. I just cannot do this life. It keeps throwing me too many curve balls and those closest to me are simply not enough to keep me going…not in this situation.

So…back to friendships…to heart connections. Who tears me down? Who lifts me up? Am I tearing anyone down, however subtly or inadvertantly? Am I lifting others up? Who gives me strength? Who drains me? Is there anyone I should try to reconnect with? Is there anyone I should let go of? Who can I best support? Who should I not try to support? Who helps me grow? Who hinders my growth? Who can I help grow? Whose growth do I hinder?

These are some of the questions I am asking the Holy Spirit to show me the answers to. They are too big for me to answer myself, however, I need to be open to receive the answers. I need to be open to whatever those answers are. Perhaps, some of those answers may help to make life less overwhelming?

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