On Being a Friend

November 7, 2008

I used to think that friendships meant unconditional love and acceptance. And maybe they should mean that…in an ideal world and an ideal situation. The reality is that we are all different and, being imperfect humans, do allow things to effect us and how we relate to others.

Over the years, I learned that friendships can wane and grow in strength. Our availability to one another can change. Our outlooks on life can change. There can be physical distance that comes between us. All kinds of things can impact friendships.

The kinds of friendships I most value are the ones where I don’t feel like I have to hide. Those can also be some of the hardest, too. When I am around people who are real and who I know are safe…well, when I AM trying to hide, it is hard. They really care and I can find it difficult to not allow my heart to show.

You may wonder why I would want to hide my heart from such friends. Well, it is not so much that I want to hide, but sometimes I may be around someone else that I feel I must hide from. So, I become torn when in the presence of someone I feel kinship with while also in the presence of someone that I am not as close to.

Sometimes, too, I just don’t want them to be concerned about me at that moment in time. Maybe they have enough challenges of their own going on. I want to be supportive rather than supported. I want to give and build up rather than drain.

I have had friends come and go, for a variety of reasons. They have all been gifts for a time. Some of them are still gifts, while some are just temporarily “in the next room”.

How wonderful it is to meet someone and feel a sense of instant kinship…a sense of closeness as if I had known the person for a long time. How wonderful it also is to be able to reconnect with a friend and find that it truly is as if they had only been in the next room for awhile. We come together again and it feels as if we never parted. We settle into a comfortable routine of give and take together as if slipping our feet into a comfortable pair of shoes.

Friends…true friends…are a very special gift indeed! It is a beautiful thing to have those with whom I can truly trust my heart.


  1. I hope and pray we can remain true friends for eternity,



  2. I believe we will, hon. We have been through too much together. There is a kinship that we have. Even if we are apart for a time, I believe that we will always come back together!

    There are some people that just live in my heart, regardless of the passing of time or things that happen in life. 🙂

    sending you much safe love and many gentle hugs,

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