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Benefits of Journaling in Healing – Private Journaling

March 20, 2009

I have found journaling to be very helpful in my healing. It allows me a way to get my thoughts out where I can see them. This sometimes helps me to make sense of the things that go swirling around in my head. It helps me to process through things I am feeling or experiencing…things I am going through.

Oftentimes, too, I will write one thought only to have another one triggered. This has led me down trails and into all sorts of insights about myself. I am often amazed at what I can learn…simply by journaling.

I like to do free flow writing in which I just start with whatever is on my heart and mind and write whatever flows out from that. I like to just start and see where it goes…without being concerned about grammar and spelling and all that.

My journaling has taken many forms. In the beginning it was simply a pass coded document on my PC. The main reason I started it was because my family and I were getting hit so hard and so heavily that it was taking most of each weekly session to just catch my therapist up on what had happened since we had last met. So, when I suggested journaling and emailing it to her, she said to go for it. This freed up valuable time with her during my sessions.

Another benefit is that it also gave her a chance to see my heart…to see just what all was going on inside. I wrote a lot and I was able to share way more with her that way than I could possibly have done in sessions. I really owe her a lot. She read volumes of journaling from me, in addition to seeing all of my artwork (which is a subject for another post). It gave us a place to start from in sessions.

It also gave her a lot of solid information about me so that, when some horrific accusations were leveled against me, she knew me better than anyone…perhaps even better than I knew myself. We were able to work together, building on that foundation, to get down to whether or not there could be any truth in the accusations. In other words, could it be possible that someone who does not lose time could actually have a dark alter who persistently came out and made phone calls (that did not show up on the phone bill) and wrote Instant Messages and emails (neither of which showed up in the archives) that intentionally contained trigger words for the express purpose of hurting friends who trusted her…without her, her therapist or her husband (who was off work, oftentimes around and a light sleeper to boot) to not have even an inkling or clue of? I am so grateful for that foundation of journaling while I was trying to unravel what was happening at the time.

The whole thing raised so many agonizing questions about myself. It really shook me to think that it might actually have been possible. As it turns out, my therapist had been watching all along for any signs…any indications…that there could be a side of me that we did not know about coming out. She had been watching during sessions and watching in my journaling and artwork. I did not consciously know she was doing that as we never discussed it until the whole issue came up. However, I think I did recognize that she probably was because it makes sense for her to do that. Thankfully, she never saw any indication of any alters doing anything that I was not fully aware of, which also meant that there were no dark alters surfacing.

In my next post, I will get into another form of journaling.

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