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Not of My Making – #1

April 1, 2009

I have started to read Margaret Jones’ book Not of My Making. I  wrote about her in a couple of previous posts.

The first chapter, “Vunerability”, describes being molestated several times as a child and some of the abusiveness she experienced at home and at school. As I read it, I realized that I still had some processing of my own to work on relating to my own childhood abuses. I had to put the book down as I felt the emotions rising up within me. Little bits of my home life and my own school life started to flash within me.

School for me, although difficult, was a whole lot easier than Margaret’s, though. I was always on the bottom few rungs of the social ladder in school. Sometimes, I was outright teased, but not nearly as badly as Margaret was. The kind of teasing she describes going through brings to mind another book I have read. It is The Wounded Spirit by Frank Peretti. I have met Frank. He has a very caring heart, especially for those who have wounded by bullying.

Margaret had said the book would be a fast read. I did not think so, figuring that I would be triggered by some of what I was reading, but I wasn’t going to disagree without looking at it. Ordinarily, I am a very fast reader, but this does really hit me. It does not help that there are other things I am struggling with in my life, too.

In the second chapter, “Rejection”, she continues to write about her school experiences, moving on into the college years. In both chapters, she poignantly describes some very touching events, alongside of some very destructive ones. She shares the times of hope that she had, followed by the deep wounding resulting from being set up and then betrayed.

There were such damaging messages given to her by her family of origin. The events in her life just seemed to confirm these messages…over and over again. Left a very broken woman, she describes meeting Dr. Howard in chapter three, “Gifts”. What an awesome gift he truly was to her. She helped her to see how special and beautiful she really was. In the same chapter, she also describes meeting her husband and the birth of her first child.

The next chapter starts the story of her getting back into church and the events that happened there. She describes the politics, the betrayals, the blessings, the hopes, the friendships, the losses, the lies. I thank Yahweh that I have not been through the kinds of things that she has been through. I have had experienced spiritual abuse of different kinds. I have also experienced wounding in the church…but not like what she has described so far.

I am about one third of the way through the book.

One comment

  1. […] Not of My Making, Part 1 […]



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