May 4, 2009

Lately, I have been thinking about persistence. Then, this morning I was reading a blog post by Margaret Jones here. The subject of persistence came up again. In the situations described in her book, she was persistently trying to work things out…trying to get the others to understand.

Just how does one know when to keep persisting in the face of seemingly overwhelming odds…or ongoing pain? How does one know when it is good to hold on or when one should call it quits? How does one know what is standing your ground versus being stupid? How does one know when it is good sense to walk away versus simply running away from something hard? I wish I knew.

It seems to be a case by case or incident by incident kind of thing. I guess, so long as the other side is holding out a true interest in resolving things…you stay put. However, I have seen others make noises like they want to work things out while not actually doing it. Behind the scenes they were actually stirring things up.

With my ex, I tried everything I knew to try to save that marriage…to make it a healthy one. I gave until there was nothing more I could do. I had to get us out of there…for the sake of my sanity and of our overall safety. It was an extremely hard decision to make. I kept hoping that, sometime during the whole process, he would wake up to what he was doing and to who he was losing. Sadly, he never really did.

Persistence. There are so many times when I just keep pushing myself to do this or do that…to keep on going when all I really want in that moment is to rest. I want to take a break from even the good things…to just sit quietly or just do reading or basic life things like cooking dinner and laundry and cleaning…forgetting the rest of life. I want simplicity…not complexity. I am so tired of complexity…and of things not going “right”.

Persistence in friendships. It amazes me still that there are some who call me “friend”. I don’t know if I will ever get over the wonder of that.

So, I persist, in many ways and in many things. I’ve just never been a quitter and I am known for my loyalty. So, I will just keep on going and I’ll try to make those moments of rest in the midst of life stuff…whenever I can.

Please feel free to share your thoughts.

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