Questions…most likely without answers

August 21, 2009

OK…I’m a survivor. I have been through worse…so why am I so freaking out because of people coming over to help tomorrow???? I am fighting tears and want to just shake.  Why do I care what others think? Why do I feel so dang vulnerable? Why do I have to be so freaking out??? People are being nice…and I am afraid. I am embarrassed at how we have had to live. The place is a mess. A mining camp one guy described it as. I think he was being nice. I have no control over what others do. We have all been feeling so overwhelmed…overwhelmed to the point of almost giving up with trying to make this place look decent. We have a tiny living space…no real storage that is conveniently accessible. Everything is in bins scattered everywhere outside. Well…actually…a lot of it is bins. There are also things out of bins. So, people are coming to help so that a house of some kind can be built. They are helping and I am freaking. Arggggg!!!!


  1. Thinking about you… And hoping things went well.

  2. Thank you, Paul. Yes…it did work out very well, actually. A friend who understands my freaking out…and who struggles with feeling similarly, albeit for entirely different reasons…stayed with me and helped me with the food for the helpers. Everything got moved and, hopefully, ground will be broken this week sometime.

    Deep breath!

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