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Am I Strong…Enough?…or When a Therapist is Evil

September 1, 2009

I have been reminded of some things lately…things from almost four years ago. I tried to do something about it then, but the regulations in place at that time didn’t really allow for that. I was encouraged to go ahead and send in my story, but I was moving and shelved it for the time being. Now, it is all coming up again.

Actually, it has been coming up again. A few months ago, a friend pointed me to a site that just kind of threw it all in my face again. I know that was not her intent. She wanted me to see what was being written that had to do with what I went through. She wanted me to see what was being shared.

Talk about being triggered. As I read what others wrote…about ME…it was like being hit all over again. I know the truth. There are others who know the truth…including the real perps who did it all…or who took advantage of things that would have happened anyway and blamed me for them. However, I have friends (former?) out there who still think I tried to do serious harm to them…all because of someone impersonating me.

As I sit here, I want to cry…again…for the God only knows (literally) how manieth time. Life is hard enough without having this come up again. Yet…it needs to be done.

I have been working lately on reclaiming my online system name. I am tired of wondering if people will hear it and wonder if I am THAT **** who they had heard about and did all those horrible things. I am tired of being afraid. Those who have gotten to know me…know, when they hear the stories, that it could not possibly be me. They have seen my heart…and that kind of evil just isn’t there.

Oh, I know…there are those who try to say that anyone who is dissociative is capable of great evil. However, there are always indicators…signs of something else being there. I have none…have had none. My therapist at the time this all came down had been keeping a watchful eye over me for a few years…reading TONS of journaling. Nope…no indicators. She had been looking for them all that time and could find none.

There are therapists out there who lie and manipulate to get what they want. What is ironic is when they accuse others of doing what they, themselves do. Or…better yet, when their own clients write articles all about how perps work…and they are either too blind to see that they are describing their own therapist…or else…maybe they are a part of it.

I know it can rock your world to find out that your therapist is evil. My heart goes out to those still associated with her.  More and more I hear about the hurts this woman has caused and is causing. And some of  her clients, too. I guess it stands to reason that this woman is teaching her clients, especially her forum moderators, well. They are being just like her.

I know we live in a sin filled fallen world…yet it never ceases to amaze me just how hateful, spiteful, uncaring and downright mean some people can be. They need to get a life…a REAL life! One that is filled with unselfish purpose and joy. Even in the midst of my pain, I can still experience some joy and some peace.

Anyway…reclaiming my system name is a huge thing for me.  It is mine and reflects something about who I am. A good name is worth more than silver or gold. This is my reputation. I just wish that O would fess up to her part in all this. That would sure make the rest a lot easier. I also wish those who were behind the scenes at that time would open up and be willing to share.

So what timing. I am working on reclaiming my system name and others are actually filing complaints against this woman…and, from what I hear…not just clients. I am being asked to tell my story. I am sick of this woman hurting people. It really needs to stop. I need to do this. Am I strong enough? I know my strength can only come from Adonai. I will do this. I must do this. If not for myself…then for the others.

Abba, please help me!

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