Holiday Choices and Depression

This is a time of year that can be very difficult for a lot of people. For survivors whose abusers took advantage of trying to destroy all joyful memories of holidays…it can be even tougher. At this point, I don’t really recall much in the way of negative memories regarding Christmas. However, as I pointed out in my previous post, all emotions from the past are difficult…whether good or bad.

I am missing my far away family and I am also struggling with my living situation. I am going into year number five like this and it is really difficult. I had the chance to get away from it for five days, but the day after I came back, I got hit really hard. I am fighting depression big time, but am plugging my way through it. Today I placed another order for SamE. I find the Jarrow brand works pretty well for me. I took two today and have one more left. I think it is helping a bit.

Life can have a lot of twists and turns. I have to just rest in my heavenly Abba and trust that He is going to get me through this…just as He has the last four winters. I know He has a plan. I know that it is ultimately good. Why we have to wait in these circumstances…I do not know. It would be easier if I knew the reasons behind this…but I don’t. Oh, well. I am just going to have to keep learning to rest in Him…to trust that His timing is best.

In the meantime, I will choose to enjoy whatever I can of life.  Today I got to spend some time with friends. It was a nice time away from home.