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Angry and Frustrated

April 19, 2010

OK…let me just say here that I am angry…and I am frustrated. At this point, I am not sure I even want to write anything more. I just need to share. I wish I could go to the Ship and write, but the message board keeps timing out on me. This has happened several times now. I will get in (what a teaser)…and then the next thing I know it is timing out…sometimes right in the middle of trying to post! That is part of my frustration.

There is more. It is built up inside…constantly having to hide…even in my own home. I am so tired of it. It is wearing me down. I feel powerless right now. Feeling powerless helps me to feel frustrated. Frustration eventually leads to my feeling angry. Arggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!

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4 comments

  1. {{hugs}} Praying for you. I’m glad you’re acknowledging your feelings ~ I hope that you can find a bit of sanctuary today.


    • Thanks. Sanctuary? I almost have to laugh at that one. I feel as if I have only one real sanctuary in this life…my heart connection with my Creator. That is it. Otherwise…I just hide. I have my moments when I just wish I could go Home. I am tired of having to hide most of me. I am tired of feeling as if I have to deal with most things on my own. Sometimes…I just feel like I need someone in this life that I can be completely real with. I feel as if I am being slammed back into old ways of living…albeit for different reasons. I miss my art. I miss my privacy. I miss being able to do the things I learned to do to help me cope and process the inner stuff. I miss my old therapist…a godly woman who had a wisdom beyond her years and experience. I miss many things…and maybe this time of year is a contributing factor. I am sure it probably is. The years in our living situation are piling up. I do well…and then I start crashing. I will work through it. I will get through it. After all…I am dependable…right? Pull it together for everyone else. My feelings will change. But for right now…they are what they are.

      Sorry to rant. Sorry to not be upbeat. I work hard…but I have my moments. You all get to see one. “Lucky” you!


  2. I with QD about praying for you. Everyone goes through what you are going through. I was very angry yesterday. It’s good to 1. recognize the feelings, 2. express the anger with the Lord (use Psalm 10:1, Psalm 22:1-2, Psalm 38:1,4, Psalm74:9, Psalm 64:1, 3-6) and 3. evaluate with God and be willing to listen to Him use Psalm 73 and lastly 4. decide to replace your wrong thinking & beliefs with God’s truth. I believe that anger is the most powerful and uncomfortable emotion that women feel. Also, I believe that the root of it comes from our expectations that we have. I have experienced that the only cure to anger is forgiveness which involves trust in God. It won’t mean that you auto feel good it’s a decision not a feeling. Hope this helps! {{{HUGS}}}


    • Thanks, frogla! 🙂 I agree with most of what you wrote and do work through things. Thank you for writing. I really appreciate that.
      I think for me, right now…it is mostly about venting…about being heard and about being understood.

      You mention the root of anger coming from our expectations and then mention forgiveness. When we have unrealistic expectations…it can definitely lead to anger.

      Anger can also come because of seeing unrighteousness. And that kind of anger can motivate us to bring justice…like when we are angry at abuse and murder.

      I always like to remember Eph 4:26, Matt 21:12, Matt 23: 27, etc. There is a time for anger. There is also a time for forgiveness.

      I see forgiveness on two levels. The first is just between my Abba and I. It is where I give it to Him and do not hold a grudge. Deut 32:35 I let Him deal with the person.

      The next is when the person repents and comes to me asking for forgiveness. That is between the person and me. In that instance, I am commanded to forgive him/her. Luke 17:4

      Healing comes in layers. As new stuff is revealed or comes to the surface, it is important to accept and deal with the emotions that also come. The key is not to stay stuck in them…and to not be vengeful.

      I trust my Abba to help me work through what I need to work through and come out the other end. I also trust Him to let me experience my emotions, knowing that He will never leave me.

      I have found that, even though I may choose to not let something bother me…to let it go…that does not mean that it does not still effect me. And those effects do build up. Then, when I am feeling the most vulnerable, of course it raises up all the emotions.

      Thanks so much for coming by and for your encouragement. I have to run out the door right now, but I will be coming back to read those scriptures again!



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