May 5, 2010

No…not dinner rolls…or the boat rolls…or waves roll…or any other kind of roll. Blog rolls. Every once in a while, I find that I am on someone’s blog roll. It never ceases to surprise me and amaze me. Each time, I think “what on earth do they find in my writings that make them worthy of being put on someone’s blog roll?”

Or I look at my subscriber list. Now…it does not show me who is subscribing. It is just a number. But that number represents real people who think my blog…or a particular post…is worth reading. Again…whenever I happen to look at that part of my stats…I am amazed. Moi? People think moi has something useful to say? Why? It makes me stop and think about why I write.

When I first started blogging, I was sick of the forum scene…not that all forums are bad…they are NOT! In fact, I have experienced some incredible healing in forums. Yet I have also experienced some of the deepest wounding. Plus, forums are limited in their readership. I wanted to be able to share with more people…and, hopefully, get more input. So, I decided to start blogging!

It was my hope…and still is…that when people read here, they find someone who understands…who “gets it”. Someone whose life experiences might not be identical (is anyone’s ever really anyway?)…but someone whose experiences emotionally, and maybe even mentally, are similar.

I hope that you can see someone who keeps on fighting…who keeps on pushing through…even when she wants to give up (like now…but that is another post). I hope that, as I share what works for me…and what does not…it might help you find something that works for you. Or maybe it will help you to not feel so badly if it is not working for you. After all…if it did not work for me either…then just maybe…it is not us. Maybe it is the whatever it is that we were trying that did not work. Or maybe…we just need to work it in a different way and we can help each other to find that way.

I hope that we can learn together. When people comment and share their thoughts, it stimulates dialog. I learn from dialog. I learn from others…which is why I read others’ blogs, too…when I can get to them. My life often makes that difficult, but I do make the rounds when I can. And I always try to find something to comment about in others’ blogs. I do that for two reasons. One is to let them know that they are being read. The other is to affirm them…to encourage them. I know what it is like to write and wonder if anyone is reading…if anyone is “listening”. I know what it is like to share struggles and get…nothing.

So…here I am…amazed again. I just discovered my blog in a blogroll at Crazy-making. I almost have to laugh. The name can sure fit my life at times! Crazy-making. I am working on making it less crazy-making. *smile* I am honored to be included. This blogger is trying to make lists of client bloggers (as opposed to therapist bloggers) and also art bloggers. Very interesting!

It reminds me that I have been wanting to get some of my art work up here…even though I am really not an artist. The focus of my art work is therapy. Believe me…artistry is NOT my talent. My difficulty in getting them up, though, is getting some decent photos of them. I took some  a while back…but I only got some pieces and the quality of the photos is rather poor. I have a much better camera now. It has been a project on my to do list for some time to go some place where I know I can probably get better pics of them. Better lighting. More room.  I need to get that done in plenty of time for me to put something together for an upcoming webinar I am doing on art therapy from a non-artist’s perspective.

Well…that’s it for now. I have lots to do today so I am not sure when I will get back here. It may not be until tomorrow. I hope that everyone reading is doing well. If you are struggling…remember that you are NOT alone! There ARE those who do understand…who do get it…and who do care. Be good to yourself. Also remember that there is a Creator out there who does want to touch your life…who wants to set you free.


  1. How-do,

    The purpose of CM is to showcase work by people who are using art as therapy, in therapy, besides, on or near therapy. Or just piddling around with art materials because it makes them happier. “Artist” is a subjective term.. imho.

    Glad to have you on the blogroll. We are up to 100 now across all diagnoses and walks of life. If you ever want to show something you have created I’d be delighted to post it on the site.

    Keep on blogging.

    • Thank you, WG! I will keep that in mind…about sharing. I agree that “artist” can be a subjective term. There are many of us out there who just are not gifted in that area, though, like some we see that are. My purpose in the Webinar is to, hopefully, open up the idea of art to those who, like me, are not really gifted in that area. My talents run in other areas and just sort of spills over into art. I really doubt that I could do anything with art that others would want to buy, for example, or have in their home. My photos maybe…but not my “artwork”! LOL

    • Ah yes, but “selling” art is just about making something that people think will go with their sofa. Where’s the fun in that? 😉

      I firmly believe that all artistic expression, esp when related to therapy or mental health is wonderful and healing and all that. And I wish I could get everyone trying out something!

      (I may even post some of my stuff on there but for now it is hidden elsewhere on the interwebs 🙂 )

      • I agree. However, there are many, like me, who were teased in art class because we are not among the gifted ones. Even the teacher told us that with our grades and with the lack of encouragement. There are people like me for whom drawing stick figures feels like a challenge. We need someone to encourage us…to show us that we actually can use art for therapeutic purposes….that we can use art for healing.

        That is the goal of the Webinar. I want to share how someone like me was able to use art for healing in the hopes that others like me will be encouraged to give it a go, too. 🙂

  2. I feel much the same way when I see my readership numbers. I have had healing and hurts on forums and I have rearranged my forums accordingly. The blog I enjoy because I do hope in some small way to reach others that may need to know they aren’t alone. I’m glad to have found you here so that we can share our journeys.

    • Yep, I’ve always avoided forums aswell. Maybe its just a DID thing – to me they seem dangerous and out of control compared to blogging. Having a blog is your own space. I have too many of them perhaps, but each is my own little world.

      I’m glad I went on a hunt for other blogs for the blogroll though as there are lots of other marvellous blog worlds out there – such as yours!

      • Awww…thank you! One difference with forums is that you can go and suddenly be hit by a post on your thread. With a blog, I do have the option to moderate all comments. I have control over “my space”, as it were. With a forum…someone can try to take over. They can really hurt others. That is what I found at a couple I went to. I have heard others’ stories, too, about forums I have not been a part of.

        On the flip side, I have had some wonderful experiences on forums and met some wonderful people. I do have a wonderful, safe forum I go to. When issues come up there…they are resolved. Everyone works together to keep it a safe, healing place. I am VERY grateful for that place. Although it is overseen by a very gracious and loving retired therapist, it is NOTHING like the forums I have been that were run by active therapists. At those, I have seen arrogance, boundary stomping, blaming, targeting…and one therapist even stole from me by not reimbursing the three months I had prepaid when I left her forum.

        No matter where we go…we need to be careful. That is why I wrote the long article on safety that was published and is soon to be republished. It is here on my blog and is about 8(?) posts long.

    • You are definitely reaching others, hon. 🙂 Keep writing. They will read…and they will be encouraged. I am glad to have met you and all the others who blog.

  3. I am particularly thankful for the blogs I read on WordPress because until this year, I didn’t know others with DID. I know I do not know the writers, personally, butI feel connected to the world in a way I never have, in the past. I know it is because I chose to start a blog on DID, and it turned into an adventure of discovering other bloggers talking about their lives. I am delighted that you have a blog, and I enjoy your posts.

    Thank you so much!


    • I hear you, Meredith. Yes…there is a feeling of connection that comes, isn’t there? Although life can be a real challenge at times, I am grateful for the many people it has led me to get to know…kind hearts…like yours! 🙂

  4. i don’t know what medium you use for your art, but i find that the best way to get (most of) my art onto my blog is to scan it…

    • Hi, little sheep! That would be nice. I don’t have access to a scanner right now, though. Plus, some of them would be too big for that. I just need to take them some place where I have good lighting and lots of room to lay them flat…or prop them up flat. 🙂

  5. Your voice is important… and, yes, I agree with everything you said and happy to have you on my Blogroll.

    • Thanks, Paul. I like to think my voice is important. I am honored to be on your blog roll…and to have you on mine.

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