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When a Therapist Goes Bad…

January 20, 2011

Therapists are supposed to be healers…people who act compassionately for the benefit of their clients. They are supposed to give support…without asking anything back (other than the agreed upon payment). They are supposed to offer suggestions…to listen…to hear…to believe and to validate. They are to cheer their clients on in their healing journeys. Of course, how that plays out…what it looks like…will be different between each therapist and each client. Every relationship is unique.

There are also things therapists are not supposed to do. For example, almost every state has a law that says a therapist is not allowed to have a dual relationship with a client. The therapist is not supposed to hire the client to do any work. They are not supposed to be friends. They certainly cannot have a sexual relationship. The therapist is not supposed to take expensive gifts from the client or use anything belonging to the client like a vehicle or cell phone.

Therapists are also supposed to keep confidences. They are never to share anything about another client. In fact, they are not even allowed to reveal that another client meets with them without that other client’s permission. Sharing anything written to or from a client with any other client is taboo.

I hate the thought of a therapist hurting his or her clients. When I hear about a bad therapist, my heart breaks for the people who work with them…and even more so when I know some of them personally. I don’t like seeing my friends getting hurt…and especially when it is by someone who should be helping them to overcome their hurts.

I know of a bad therapist…more than one, actually. But today I am writing about one in particular…KB. She has former clients who have filed complaints against her. I know of this therapist because I was once part of her online for pay “therapeutic” forum. I thank G-d that I was never her official client. I only spoke on the phone with her once and I never met her in person because we lived in several states away from each other.

I left her forum because of her repeated absences and her allowing targeting and badgering to take place on the forum. After I left, she broke my confidentiality by publicly posting an email she wrote to me…an email in which she misquoted me to boot. I suffered a whole lot more with her as she lied about me to others and falsely accused me of things I could not have done and did not do. I have witnesses that I was hundreds of miles and several states away from one even I was supposed to have caused.

So, why write about her today? Because the TX licensing board has ruled that her license should be revoked! She is asking for an informal conference and a hearing. I hope all the others who have, and are, filing complaints stick with it. The more who complain about her, the stronger the case against her and the harder it will be for her to reverse the decision.

I read the paperwork released by the TX board. I have also read a complaint written by someone. Both remain anonymous and I would not give their names even if I knew them. Frankly, with what I read from the board, I don’t see how she can possibly reverse it. I certainly hope she cannot. It is time she stop abusing her clients.

I did some art pieces to help process through my experiences with her. You can find two of them here and here.

12 comments

  1. I like the way you did word clouds to release your feelings. I think it’s cool, too the way you re-formed your word cloud.

    The stuff she did to you was like vicious pay back, wasn’t it? That’s the kind of stuff teenagers do… bleah! No wonder this is such an issue for you.

    Glad you wrote about it. I have no understanding about doing therapy forums online.

    ~meredith~


    • Thanks, Meredith. The first piece was to just get it out there. The second was to process it and make something of it. The heart…the journey from excited and optimistic to betrayed and hurt.

      I guess it was kind of like pay back, but I never did anything to her. I was just strong and not easily swayed. I did not need someone to lead me by the hand. I was a strong supporter of others in a realm where she had to be the only real supporter…the one leading all the others as they supported one another under her tutelage. She tried to destroy my reputation and she used me as a scape goat. I was the one from whom she had to “save” everyone. She came out looking like a “saviour”…except to the few who saw through her…who saw the truth. For some, that sight came right away. For others, it came later.


  2. It’s amazing how many people she does this with, and yet she still has “followers” who just believe she can walk on water. We are sorry you had to be one of her victims and we are glad you are working towards recovering from her abusiveness. Also, good to hear that hopefully she won’t be able to hurt others in the future!


    • She can present a very caring persona. She is willing to spend “extra” time with you…but, from what I have read, it comes with a cost. She does know a lot about dissociation and how it works.

      I don’t fault survivors for being deceived. So many are desperate to find someone who hears, who understands, who has the answers. She seems to fit the bill…until you look closer. Sadly, by the time one can figure out what is REALLY going on…one is already in pretty deep. Critical personal information has been shared…information that can be used against them should they complain. Because she shares privileged client info, some of her followers also have what they need to really inflict damage on anyone who complains.

      No one likes to believe that they have been deceived, especially by someone who comes across as caring as she does. It hurts to think you were taken in…especially if you have invested a lot of time and money into working with her. If you have been helped (and I believe some were), it is even harder to believe that she could be hurting others. It really is no wonder that so many people keep believing that it is all “us” and never her.


  3. Glad to hear the board revoked her license. I remember several years back there were some “online therapists” who did a lot of harm, thankfully I was never part of any. I have been fortunate for the most part in having medium bad therapists but never one that crossed horrible ethical lines like you mention. I guess my first therapist was awesome and really set the stage for my expectations. Of course I have been assigned therapists that weren’t helpful and did some harm, but not ethical related, just ignorance. I’m glad you stood your ground and I wish you and the others what you need to stand strong- this sends a very real message!


    • Hi, Anna, her license is not yet revoked because she is asking for a hearing. I hope the rest who have filed complaints keep moving forward with that and that she is removed from this field of work.


  4. OneSurvivor. Good for you! On all fronts. I know this has been hard, dealing with KB. Thanks for bringing her to account. I have not been terribly hurt by her, but have had several encounters that have not felt safe. Again, thank you!


    • I wish it WAS me bringing her to account. All I am doing is reporting what is going on. The laws and my situation did not permit me filing.

      And when asked to help others by giving my story to bolster theirs, I was unable to do it. I tried, but without therapy support…it was just too overwhelming.

      It is also difficult when you have no proof, other than possibly for three months forum dues theft and all your witnesses are unavailable or scared of her. I have not been able to get anyone to come forward with what they know other than what was posted on the Therapist Ratings site.

      If a witness would be willing to testify to a couple of key incidents, I could get her on defamation of character, libel, slander. But without witnesses I don’t have proof. They have told ME in the company of others), but they are not telling the authorities. And I understand that.


      • I know you didn’t report her. But I know you have been involved and are a part of shining light on her practices. So I give you huge credit.


  5. I’ve seen the venom that this therapists supporters have aimed towards those who have dared to question her practices… it’s was incredibly scary to see. So I agree with Paul, speaking out in any way against her is brave and worthy of recognition. You’ve done so with grace and diplomacy – especially when you see the word clouds and realise the harm she inflicted.

    I hope that those who filed the complaints keep going…

    I wrote a veiled post about her last year, it was amazing how many people knew exactly who I was talking about!

    Take care,
    CG


    • Thank you, CG. If you notice, I never actually write her name. 😉

      I have seen the viciousness of her followers, but thankfully, have not had them chase me down since I left her forum. I have stayed low-key, but others I know have been cyber-stalked.

      On KB’s blog, she has a link to another blog done, I am told, by one her moderators. I don’t really follow it, but I have read enough of the comments to see how the moderator openly attacks others. I have also seen how she wrote blog posts regarding filing complaints that were clearly designed to scare people away from filing. I am SO glad that the filers were brave and did so anyway.

      It is also amazing that her moderator wrote blog posts about how a therapist should NOT be. I almost had to laugh because she described KB to a “t”! How sad.

      I will check out your post, CG. Thank you for sharing it.

      Take care,
      OS



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