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I Had a Dream

January 5, 2012

Wow. This was originally written on May 4, 2010. Instead of posting it, I turned it into a draft. I am not sure why I did not put it out there back then. Could it be that I felt it made me feel too vulnerable? Perhaps. I think I have moved beyond these feelings now, but I am going to share this dream anyway. I am sure others may relate and these feelings may just come back.

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I had a dream last night. I was actively interacting with other people. We were outside…a parking lot? Whatever it was…it was paved. Whatever we were doing…it was no big deal. I mean…it is not like it was some kind of hard work. It was something social…but I am just not sure what it was specifically.

I was fighting to keep going…to keep participating. I felt so weary inside…so stretched. I just wanted to lie down…to stop being needed…just for a bit. I wanted…I needed…to be ministered to by others. I needed others to just know what I was going through and be there for me.

I finally allowed myself to start sliding to ground. On the way down, I heard it all over again. You will scare people. They won’t understand. They will just think you are being overly dramatic. Still…I decided to dare to take a chance.

So, I allowed myself to hit the ground…all the while feeling “guilty” about showing my own need. I just had to see what would happen if I shared my exhaustion…my pain…my struggle.

What happened? Nothing. I was completely ignored.

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7 comments

  1. Do bold, brave, and beautiful… Really enjoyed reading your heart today 🙂


  2. Sad….I’ve felt like this before. What would happen if they really knew my pain, what I felt, what I think? Then again….while dreams tell us things, they don’t usually indicate truth at face value, they go deeper and sometimes the true part isn’t the obvious portion.
    The truth is that people do care and that in the right place and right time they will minister to you.


    • That is so true, Sojourner. I have certainly found that to be true online. I think this dream was more about in person, though. There are times when I really with the right place and right time would happen a lot more often. It has been years. On the other hand, I have made it through the years and I do believe I am stronger and doing better.


  3. I get the whole thing. What u wrote felt and dreamnt. I had similar dreams before that things did not get resolved or if you are fallin that you actually fell in a dream or if you were being chased you didnt see who it was. and things like that and excetera. 1 time I had a dream I was behind a podium and I was at the ends of the stand away from the beach water as if I was going to have a speechii


  4. I understand all of what you wrote. and what you felt and dreamnt. I had similar dreams where add to the end of the dream I did not get any resolution or an end in to it. I dream of being chased I did se who was chasin me. I dreamt I was at a podium as if I what is going to give a speech as if I were going to accept the award or something regarding something but I got woken up by a phone call buy some body I call my mom now. when we dream they usually

    are about our pwn life and circumstances. Dream of life people we know situations things in our past


    • I agree, Marie. I think we do a lot of processing in our dreams. They can be very helpful and very revealing.



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