Why Can’t I…

October 3, 2012

Why can’t I feel without being overwhelmed by it? Well, let me clarify, it is not that feeling is always overwhelming, but that feelings connected with remembering are overwhelming. I have already written about this, especially in the previous two posts.

It is a question that is nagging at me. I need the time and space to work on this. I find myself feeling overwhelmed with all that is on my plate. Yet, I am able to keep on moving. Now, it is after midnight and I am, obviously, still up. Could it be that I don’t really want to go to bed because of the time of year? Last night was the first night of sleeping all the way through after several nights in a row of waking up in the wee hours of the morning unable to go back to sleep. Thankfully, I just talk to the L-rd and that helps. I also did a little bit of talking (well…thinking) to myself.

I really need to find out what is going on with me.


  1. Oh, Abi. This is such a hard question… that we all want to know…

    Seems like the past year has provided you with the top stressors– in spades. I hope working with your art helps interrupt the intensity.

    • Thanks, my friend. Yes, the art did help. I really need to make a way to do it more…both on the laptop and off. I also hope my hubby can get a job with a consistent, regular schedule. That would definitely help, too.

  2. Can you let go of some things so you will have more time to yourself?

    • Hi, Hope. That is what I am trying to do…figure out what I can let go of. It is a challenge because my life really isn’t filled with a much “fluff”. Plus, the other factor…still…is not being as alone as I would like. I am working on it.

      • Yeah, I see what you mean. Hmmm. Family and work takes up a lot of time. Can you drop some of your responsibilities without your life completely falling apart?

        • One thing I did that did help was to stay up late and work on some art which I put in the post following this one. I had to decide to take the time and do it.

          There are things I can pull back on a bit, but I need to fix up the office and make it usable. Once I do that, I think it will help…but, oh the task ahead of me! It has become almost like a storage area…in spite of my efforts. I need to just take the time to go through it and somehow, some way, find a place to put the stuff that is in the way…or throw it out entirely. Another challenge!

          It is a struggle when there are things I want to do, but am neglecting. Somehow, I need to prioritize so that the most important things DO get done, even if not everything I want to do does. (Hope that makes sense.)

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