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After the “Visit”…

June 2, 2015

OK. So, my father came and left. I am still processing this visit.  It went “OK”. I am “OK”. It was a little bit awkward…naturally. I was very focused on my son’s graduation and making sure all was well with that. There is much I could write, but I am still processing and thinking about it.

I still don’t think he is dangerous at this point. But he is also still amnesic…or at least claims to be. I don’t think he would intentionally do something, but that does not mean he might not “unintentionally”. Those who are familiar with the layering that happens in SRA will understand what I am talking about.

Right now, I am concerned that he might think everything is “hunky dory”…which could lead to his thinking about moving up here. I do NOT want that…for him to move any closer. Yet, I do submit myself to my heavenly Abba’s will and trust that He will do/allow what is best. He is watching over me and protecting me. Anything He allows, He will cause me to grow through it and benefit from it.

I know…that is something that is hard to comprehend. I mean…really? So being accessed and raped after we moved here was used for my good? Yeah, in a way it was. Not that the event itself was good. But He protected me…in that instance…from worse things. And I did learn from it. It was a hard lesson, though, and I no longer will even consider meeting with a therapist who specializes with RA survivors. And no one else “gets it”. So, I just do occasional phone calls with my former T and I continue to trust my Abba.

I like this picture I did some time ago.

https://asurvivorshealingart.wordpress.com/2011/04/25/4010-safety-1-1-of-3-april-21-2011/

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