Current Day Life

October 28, 2016

Overall, I would have to say that I am doing well. There are always going to be life challenges due to the abuse I experienced. Long term, early abuse causes the brain to develop differently. The way my brain works is always going to be a challenge on some level. But I can live with it. I can work with it. A lot has to do with accepting things as they are and working to do the best I can within my limitations.

Does that mean I will roll over and not try to excell? No. But it does mean I am not going to bang my head against a wall and expend energy that would be better put to use elsewhere.

I am doing limited art again. Little things. For enjoyment and continued healing. I am reading more, preferable hardbound books, but also on Kindle. I am “unplugging” more. I am not striving to be someone I am not.

G-d made me the way I am for a reason. He allowed things to happen in my life for a reason. Did He want me abused? NO! NO! NO! But giving humans the right to choose means that many choices will not be best…or will even be horrible and evil.

The best thing is that nothing goes unnoticed by Him. Every one of us will, at some point, have to pay for what we have done. Thankfully, since we ALL fail on SOME level, He gave us a part of Himself to help us. Jesus aka Yeshua, came to us in human form. He humbly lowered Himself to become one of us and to walk among us.

It saddens me to so much of what He taught has been distorted over the centuries, starting within a couple hundred years of His time with us. We have lost sooooo much. He gave the greatest gift of all by coming to walk with us and by paying the penalty for all the blow-its we commit. I am very grateful. And while I still strive to be better and do better — to walk more closely in His ways — I am grateful that I do not have to pay that penalty. What is not to love about a G-d…about a Creator…like that?

So, I live my days in gratitude. And in love. I think that is why I can say that I am doing well overall even in the midst of my struggles. I know He is there with me, guiding me, leading me, loving me. Forgiveness, when I blow it, is only a heart whisper away for He is faithful to forgive us when we sincerely ask.

Life is hard, but life is good. Finances are extremely limited and I am battling some health issues. BUT, He is here walking with me. And I am looking forward to His coming kingdom. There will come a day when all evil will be gone and all who have trusted in Him and sought Him will be changed and perfected. Oh, how I LONG for that day!


  1. Hi there
    Iam no different from you,I have through this horrendous ordeal got to know the true Messiah,Christ Jesus the Sin of the living God at a much closer range.But the yearning of my heart is to meet and interact with fellow survivors,I haven’t asked the Lord to send me some but if you know of any interested in same,please introduce me if fine with you.

    Kind Regards

    I have been with Godly persons who took my hand through this journey and Iam loving every moment of it.

    • Hello, Sarie. I have not been on this blog for awhile and only just now saw this. I am sorry you have been through this, too, but am glad you know the Messiah, who I call by his Hebrew name, Yeshua. I hope G-d has brought godly people into your life.

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