Being sick

Getting really sick is always an emotionally charged thing for me. Maybe it has to do with feeling weak and vulnerable. I don’t know.

I woke up Friday morning with a back ache and headache. My neck has been bothering me lately, too. I thought it was from a fall I had about a month ago. Although it seemed I made it through the fall unscathed, I’ve been noticing that I probably should get to a chiropractor. Something hasn’t really been feeling quite right. I hate starting new things and I’ve just been busy. I already have an eye appointment and I need to make a dental appointment. These are all things that have been kind of stacking up as I was waiting for medical coverage, something I’ve had for several months.

I also have persistent allergies. I believe my house is, literally, making me sick with these allergies. I cannot properly clean it. So all the dust and cobwebs and everything else just keep blowing around. It’s frustrating. Short of leaving my husband, which is not going to happen, there’s nothing I can do about it.

It finally dawned on me Friday morning that the headache was due to a sinus infection. It may have been aggravated by the fall, but it was mostly sinus infection. I did two stupid things. One, I forgot to use a saline nasal spray regularly to help keep a sinus infection away. Two, I over sugared which tanked my immune system. I should only be eating to boost my immune system, especially in these circumstances.

Using natural remedies, I got the sinus infection part of it under control within a couple days. But a sinus infection doesn’t just stay in the sinuses. The whole body gets hit. And I’m still trying to recoup from that. I feel weak. I have very little energy to even get myself something to eat. Thankfully, my husband is a dear to help me with that.

So what is it about being sick that’s so emotionally charging? As I wrote, I think it’s that I feel weak and vulnerable. I don’t like being in a position where I cannot physically defend myself. Yep, that’s also where trusting Creator comes in. He has kept me safe for many many years. Why would He stop now?