Archive for the ‘gratitude’ Category

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Finding the Joy in Living

December 17, 2008

It is much easier to live life when I can find joy in it. It is easier to find joy when I can be thankful. Sometimes, especially when I am going through a period of darkness or struggle, it can be difficult to think of anything to be thankful for. It is in those times that I have to start with what seems like the smallest of things.

I may have to really choose to see something of beauty in the world around me…like a little flower in the midst of weeds. Or a patch of blue sky in the midst of the gray clouds. It might even be that last Autumn leaf that is still clinging to the branch… a picture of tenacity. I find that the more things…even little things…that I can find to be thankful for…the easier it is to find the bigger things.

There have been days in my life when it seemed like I was locked into darkness. I could not see even the tiniest bit of beauty. The skies were all gray. Most of the leaves were on the ground. There were no flowers…just dried up brown weeds. All I could see was the negative.

But then it would hit…I can see! There are some who cannot see that gray sky, or the blue the will eventually follow. They cannot see those weeds, or the flowers that will come in the spring. I can hear all the noises that I found so annoying. There are some cannot hear anything…not a whiny child, a car radio blaring or a lover’s sigh. I can walk among those trees so bare of leaves and devoid of color. There are some who cannot walk…some who cannot even leave their beds!

I found that, if I really chose to, I could find things in life to focus on that would cause me to feel joy.  At some point, as my heart would become filled with thankfulness, I would start to dwell upon the One I could thank for all these things. So, in the midst of finding joy in the darkness, I also find gratitude. In the midst of finding gratitude in a darkened world, I find the One to Whom I can express that gratitude.

I do not know why I am blessed. I do not know why I hurt. Good and bad hit all of us. I do know, though, that I am a child of my Creator. I know that all the good things I do have, no matter how small or large, are gifts from Him. For that I am grateful.

There are times when I am simply grateful for His getting me through things, especially when I think of the abuse or I think of the depression and the dark times I have had to experience. Even now, when I struggle, I know it is Him getting me through it. I simply cannot do it by myself. I need His help and He gives it.

It may be really hard. I might have to struggle a lot as I work through things, but He is faithful to get me through it. He is faithful to love me and teach me and show me how to live life His ways. For that, I am VERY grateful!

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Thoughts on the Time of Year

October 25, 2008

What a time! I love the Autumn. It is my favorite season…on the outside. On the inside, I hate this time of year. I know what happens at the end of October and I hate it!

Most of the time I can push it to the back of my mind and heart. Yet…it always comes up. Somewhere, somehow, the thought of the children comes to mind…and I find myself fighting tears and lifting up a prayer for them.

What do I pray for? Well, I would like to think He would stop the whole hideous thing, but I know that is not realistic. It is not because God is not big enough, or strong enough, to stop it. It is because He is bound by His own rules. He gave us humans the ability to choose between good and evil, between doing what is right and doing what is wrong. Gentleman that He is, He won’t go back on His word. We were given choice and until He comes back and removes evil once and for all, we will have people committing evil acts.

So, no, I don’t really pray for Him to stop it…at least not very strongly. I do pray for Him to intervene. I pray for Him to protect the hearts and souls of those who will have to endure this time. I pray for Him to protect them from the pain and to take them quickly home. I pray for supernatural comfort to the victims.

I also pray for Him to open the eyes of the good people who are too afraid to take a real and serious look at what is going on around them. For those who are willing to see, I pray that He will open their hearts and give them courage to take a stand. Yet, I hold out little hope for that happening.

If people won’t even take a stand to stop the culture of death we can see so openly, how can I expect them to work to stop the hidden deaths? When people, including babies, are “legally” sacrificed through abortion and through starvation in the “medical” system on the altar of convenience and money…right out in the open, how can there be concern for the children and people being sacrificed in hidden rituals? They are all being sacrificed…whether openly or in secret and the temporary prince and ruler of this earth is laughing at the stupid humans who are serving him through these (and other) practices.

My heart always breaks when I think of these things. However, this time of year I am more keenly aware of it all. It is a reminder to me that this is not my true home. My true home in with God in His kingdom. What is to come after all this ugliness is a beauty so incredible that those who have seen it and come back are unable to adequately describe it. That is what I long for.

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It Feels Good!

July 6, 2008

It feels good to move forward…to take positive steps for myself.

It feels good to know that I am growing inside.

It feels good to know that I can set healthy boundaries…and still love the ones I am setting them with.

It also feels good to feel stronger. Each step I take forward makes me stronger. And I know Who it is that helps me do that. I know that I cannot do it on my own.

It feels good to be able to give and receive support.

It feels good to know that I am loved and cared for.

It feels good to be able to love and care for others.

It feels good to be able to keep on facing the past without letting it hold me back from the future.

It feels good to be able to write things that others actually enjoy reading.

In fact, it feels good to be able to write things that I enjoy reading! Like my poetry!

It feels good to know that I am not alone…even though there are times when I still find myself feeling very isolated and alone.

It feels good to know that I do not have to live by feelings even though I am sometimes overwhelmed to the point of feeling incapacitated by them.

I know that all things eventually pass. Life is up and down. There will be good days and bad days. Up days and down days. I won’t have all good days, but neither will I have all bad days!

It feels good to be able to face life, knowing that Yahweh God has all things in His hands. He is allowing things in my life to help me grow strong. He is bringing people into my life to help me…and people for me to help. And that, too, feels really good!

I am grateful for what I have.

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