Archive for the ‘right focus’ Category

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Seeing Deceptions

September 15, 2016

Seeing so much deception in the world can be very disheartening. Yet, there is an upside to it, too. Yep, an upside. It makes me more grateful than ever that I can see as clearly as I can. Am I saying I cannot be deceived? No. But I am saying that I know the One who is never deceived and He gives me insight as to what is really going on in the world.

I am grateful for the Creator’s Word…both the written and the Living. I am grateful for His Spirit that lives inside me, leading me and guiding me even when I am not aware of it and helping me to understand His written word…the bible. I am grateful for His Messiah who took care of the problem of darkness within me…my own evil and propensity to do wrong things.

There are those who have wronged me in the past. I have forgiven them. There are those who, I believe, are wronging me in the present. I forgive them. Does that mean I am unaffected? No. But the effects are lessened by the understanding the Spirit gives me.

When I look at the world through the eyes of my Creator, I see a lost world. The greatest darkness and deception are not from those in the world toward the rest of us. No, it is a deception that the deceivers themselves are caught up in. And that causes me to pity them.

Those attempting (and being very successful with many) to deceive us are themselves deceived. They do not see the Truth about the bigger plan our Creator has for this world. They think they are gaining power and have wealth to make them better than the rest of us, but they only have and do what they are allowed by our Creator to have and do.

Our Creator has a bigger plan of redemption for this world. He will make it brand new. But before that time, there will continue to be a battle between Light and dark, between Good and evil, between our spiritual adversary and us. But I know who wins. In the end, it is US through the Spirit of our Creator. Messiah has ALREADY won the battle over death and sin, but we need to walk that out in our lives.

I truly wish I did a much better job of that, but I am entrusting my spiritual well-being to my Creator. He knows my frame and that I am merely dust. Yet, He takes that dust and raises up out of it human beings made in His image. He makes beauty and love and all good things possible.

I cannot choose what happens to me in life, but I CAN choose my response to it. And I choose to worship my Creator and to walk in His ways as best I can out of love and gratitude and respect for Who He is.

So, when I see all the deceptions and I am tempted to be frustrated…or worse, afraid…I look to Him. I am comforted by the prophecies where He has spelled out for us what has happened, is happening now and will happen. I do not need to fear the future. He holds that in His capable hands. I need not fear the now, for He is working something good out of it.

I see the Light shining in the midst of the darkness. I see Messiah Yeshua (Jesus) coming. I also see a time of great trouble on the horizon before He comes back. But I know I am OK in the here and now. And I will be OK in the midst of the coming troubles because He will be here with me. Yeshua promised to never leave or forsake us and He is not a liar.

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Living Life in the Face of Nastiness…

March 30, 2012

There are people in life who are simply nasty. They are mean, disrespectful and really don’t care how what they do affects others. When confronted with such people, we have choices to make. We can either react to them, wherein we lose ourselves by allowing them to control our lives and determine how we will live. Or, we can respond to them, wherein we maintain our own autonomy and integrity and choose how we shall live. I prefer the latter. That is my choice.

When I am confronted by nasty negative people I choose to remember that I, too, have had my “moments” of being nasty or ugly. It may not have been intentional. I may not have even been aware of how I was coming across. Or, I may have realized it as it was happening, but did not know how to “fix” it. Or maybe there was no fix…the damage was already done. Any way you look at it, I have had a negative impact on others at times in my life. So, I believe it is worthwhile to remain humble toward others, recognizing that I am certainly not perfect, either!

I also try to remember that everyone is the way they are for a reason. For good or bad, we have all had negative and positive experiences in life that have helped to shape us into what we are today. Sometimes, the balance between positive and negative was fairly even overall. But for some of us, one heavily outweighed the other.

For those whose positive experiences heavily outweighed the negative it can be difficult to understand those of who whose lives were the opposite. We may fumble where they do not. We may react to things that do not faze them one bit. I think it is good when each person can believe another’s story and try to imagine living in that reality. It can help us to be more empathetic toward others.

For those of us who weigh heavily on the negative, and some even in the extreme, it can be difficult to imagine life without that. We see the way others live and struggle to comprehend how they can do that. It just isn’t even on our radar.

Thankfully, though, there can be some good experiences even in the midst of craziness and evil, that give us some positive skills for life. For me, knowing my Creator made a HUGE difference. It is part of what helped to shape me and, I think, to temper how the abuse affected me.

I still deal with the physical effects of trauma brain and I can still experience flashbacks that are part of PTSD and getting  triggered.  However, I have learned over the years how to cope and work around the aftereffects. I know what I can do and what I cannot do and I no longer feel guilt or shame over what I cannot do…even when others do not understand. It is frustrating at times when people look less favorably upon me for what I cannot do. They cannot comprehend how even the simplest of things can be overwhelming at times. But I have learned to live with that and simply accept that there are things they simply do not know and, even if they did, might not be able to understand.

Life is good…even when it is hard. I am OK with that. My heavenly Abba/Father/true Daddy walks with me. So does my Messiah…Yeshua. Their Ruach/Spirit lives within me and that strengthens and comforts me…especially when life is hard.

I refuse to give up. I refuse to hold grudges. I refuse to not forgive. I choose to walk in freedom with my head held high…even when I am shaking inside.

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Where Should My Focus Be?

August 18, 2008

There is something about myself that I have been working on changing for about the last year now. Recently, I was hit with the realization that I am definitely not there yet. I am much closer than I think I have ever been…but still not there.

What really brought it home for me just recently is that there was something very significant and very important happening to a very dear friend…and I spaced on it. It was not that I totally forgot about it, but I really believe it should have been more in the front of my mind. I was distracted away from it. When this friend brought it up, I had to ask about it because I had spaced on it. That did not feel good…or right. It really pulled me up short.

There are people that Yahweh God has brought into my life. These are people who consider me to be a good friend. They feel close to me. I don’t know why. I feel so messed up and so broken that it is difficult for me to fathom this, but they do. They see my heart. They KNOW me! Sometimes it really amazes me how well they know me.

These are ones I know my heart is safe with. I know that, no matter what I say or do, they will not trample on my heart. They will hang in there and help me to work through whatever is going on…and I think, I hope, they know their hearts are safe with me.

These are the ones who see the shades of gray and are able to ask me questions about myself to help me see more clearly the things I need to see. We are both iron sharpening iron and loving support for one another. I am very blessed to have them in my life.

Soooooo, why am I “neglecting”, for lack of a better word, to invest more time and emotional energy to build up these friendships than I am? That is what I have been looking at for quite a while now. Granted, I have my own life struggles that interfere. They know that. They have their own struggles that they are dealing with, so they understand that. Sure, I do need to push through my own stuff…my own abuse background that tends to interfere with my having trusting close friendships.

However, it is more than that. I believe that I have allowed myself to be distracted away through investing time and emotional energy where I should not have been. It is not that I never should have been. I don’t believe that for one minute. Yet, there can come a time when it is appropriate, and even necessary, to move on…to step away, at least for a bit.

I have been spinning my wheels, as it were, and being drained and distracted. As a result, I have not been investing enough in the very friendships that most benefit from that investment! Shame on me for that. Yes…shame. I looked up the definition. There is nothing wrong with feeling ashamed of our shortcomings and faults. It means that we feel the painful emotion of recognizing that we have blown it. Shame can motivate us to change for the good…and that is what I am working on.

I am going to continue to let go of those things which are distractions that draw me away from the people I should be focused on. I feel good about that. I feel good about the fact that I am so much closer to this goal than I was before. I feel good about the fact that I am able to see it even more clearly now…and that I am able to put more actions to the desire to change. I feel good about the fact that I can have confidence in knowing that my heavenly Abba has been helping me and that He will continue to help me.

It always feels good to know that I am moving in the right direction. I have some art ideas to work on to help me concretely move forward.

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