Archive for the ‘Survivorship’ Category


Survivorship Webinar…

June 4, 2011

I have been asked several times about doing another webinar for Survivorship. Hubby seems to think I have enough experience with manipulators and controllers to do one on that, but I don’t think so. I am “blessed” to have always lived far away from relatives and my one sister died. So, I have really only had to deal with my parents and assorted other people who I have come to realize are probably cult. Of course, there was also my first husband. I don’t know.

I would really love to do one on therapeutic art again, but I already did that. I suppose I could focus on one particular aspect of therapeutic art, especially seeing as how I was running out of time to show and explain all the pieces I had.

Then there is the whole safety issue. I wrote a whole article on that and could even show some of the art pieces I did to process the things I went through. I don’t know.

Does anyone have any suggestions? You could either put it in the comments or use the contact form on the tab above if you do not have my email.

Oh, and the date they are offering is two days after my father’s birthday. Woohoo! Not! But I am game!


How a Webinar Is Done…

August 19, 2010

A webinar is an online seminar. Instead of going to a physical place, you sign in to an online site…from the comfort of your own home. That is nice because you don’t have to be concerned about traffic or getting there on time. You also get to have handy whatever you need to help you keep grounded…or to get grounded if something in the webinar triggers you. All those who are signed up will receive an email with the site address and the log in. Via that site, you get to watch the slides used by the presenter.

A second email invites everyone to the webinar conference call. The email includes a phone number with a sign in code. That connects everyone in a single call. Those listening mute their phones while the presenter is speaking to cut down on background noise. There are times given for feedback or questions. Most presenting sites also have call in or microphone capability. Not each site is equal in its quality or features, though. Therefore, Survivorship has chosen to use one site’s call-in software and another site’s presenting software.

So, you receive two emails…one with the call-in information and one with the link for the log-in to see the slides. It is a very interesting experience. Oh…and another thing. There is a side chat window for those who have difficult with speaking on the phone. It is possible to ask the presenter questions there.


Art Webinar and Life…

August 17, 2010

Well…the art Webinar is this coming Saturday, the 21st.  This month I am presenting. Ack!

No…seriously…it should be fun. However, I have never done a webinar. I like speaking and sharing, but have not really done so since uncovering the SRA side of my history. This should be interesting. Hopefully…all will go smoothly and I will handle it well. I do NOT need my PTSD to start rising…although I already feel inklings of it. I am sure things will settle down a bit once I have the presentation finished. I am almost there.

Ordinarily I would NEVER like to cut things this close, but the past few months have been filled with laptop juggling and using (at least part of the time) an old dinosaur of a laptop. I did trade one dino for another dino…but at least this dino has more going for it.

A brand new laptop…a gift from a very generous brother in the L-rd…is on its way. However, it is not scheduled to arrive until Thursday. That does not really give me much time to load everything up and be ready for Saturday…especially since it will about guaranteed to have a different OS. Ack!! So, I will probably be using the laptop I am using now…which does not have everything loaded on it that I would normally have.

Typically, I would have everything done way in advance. Not so this time. I am still thinking some things through…although most of what remains is just info typing. I have not only had to switch laptops twice, but I have also had to use two different presentation softwares! Thankfully, this dino has Power Point on it and that is much easier to use than Open Office…which is saving me time! Yay!

We are in desperate need of a house. Someone has been trying to get it built for about a year now. I asked my husband the other day how much he wanted to bet that there will be people crawling all over the place during the webinar. They have not been here for quite a while so it would not surprise me if they are suddenly able to come. When you are working with volunteers, you cannot exactly schedule things. You take whatever you can get whenever you can get it…gratefully! Right now…my family is planning on being gone for that time so I can have quiet and be able to concentrate.

I am both looking forward to doing this…and looking forward to being done with it! Depending on how this goes, I will consider whether or not to do any more webinars…art or otherwise. When I signed up for it, I thought it would be fun. And I still think it will be. However, I was also very much hoping to be in the house by now. Oh, well. Such is life!

I have no idea how many are signed up for it…or if anyone I know is signed up for it. I do know this…I will eventually be putting most of my art pieces up on my art blog. There are, however, some pieces I cannot put up due to copyright issues. I will show them during the webinar, but most likely will not be putting them up on the blog. There are also a few others that I will be showing that won’t be going up on the blog. The only way to see them is to either go to the webinar or come to my house. It is also going to take me a while to get the pieces up on the blog as there are so many.

To top it off…we may have a thunderstorm that day. So, I need to make sure the cordless phone is charged up. If need be, I will use the laptop with its batteries to see the presentation and I will have someone else change the slides on line for me. If there is lightning…we unplug the modem and all the electronics. It could be VERY interesting!

So…deep breath…rest…relax…trust. I am asking Yeshua to guide me and lead me. I need wisdom as to what to show and what to share about each piece. All is well. All will work out.


Survivorship Art Webinar…

August 17, 2010

This coming Saturday is Survivorship’s webinar for the month of August. Yours truly will be presenting. 🙂 This is the info from their site:

Survivorship Ritual Abuse Webinar “How a ‘Non-Artist’ Uses Art for Healing.”

Saturday, August 21, noon to 2:00 Pacific time
(Check in at 11:45)
“How a ‘Non-Artist’ Uses Art for Healing.”
Flower aka Garden

We’ve had Webinars by Mike Skinner, a musician, and Lynn Schirmer, an artist, who use their talents to spread the word about publically. Most of us, though, use art and music in a much more private way to advance out own healing. Now we can hear somebody just like us share her process and reassure us that art is for everybody.

“How a ‘Non-Artist’ Uses Art for Healing.”
Flower will be showing slides of some of her artwork and explaining how she used art to help in her healing process. She is not an artist, and so brings the perspective that it is something anyone can do. Talent is not needed. :-)

Flower is a survivor of SRA. She grew up in a generational cult family but was unaware of that until much later in life. Her love of writing is reflected in poetry, private journaling, and several blogs. One blog focuses specifically on her thoughts as a survivor. She has a strong faith in her Creator and has known Yeshua/Jesus since she was a small child…which is reflected in some of her healing art and writings. She also loves taking photos and combining them with encouraging words.

The cost of each Webinar is $20.00, plus the cost of your telephone call to the East Coast. There are a limited number of full and partial scholarships available. Registration closes Thursday evening June 17. If you wish to pay by PayPal, go to Otherwise, send your check to: SURVIVORSHIP, Family Justice Center, 470 27th Street, Oakland, CA 94612.

To reserve a space in the Webinar, e-mail Shamai at and give her this information:

1.Your name

2. The Webinar you wish to attend: “How a Non-Artist Uses Art for Healing.” on Saturday, August 21 and/or one of the Webinars listed below

3. Whether you need a full or partial scholarship

4. Method of payment  (PayPal button at bottom of page at )

5. Your preferred e-mail address (so we can send you instructions)

6. The name you will be using for the Webinar. (This does not have to be your real name or your message board screen name.)


Saturday, September 11
Jeannie Riseman, Bonnie Bazill-Davis, and LisaBri.
Panel on “Preparing for the Holidays.”
(We have room for one more panelist: write if you are interested.)

Saturday, October 9
Elle Snow, MSW
“Ritual Abuse Survivors and Eating Disorders.”

Saturday, November 13
Carol Ann Rowland, MSW
“Healing Trauma with Energy Psychology.”

Survivorship members may listen to past Webinars in the members’ section. (For information on joining Survivorship, go to

Past Webinars include:

“Self-Injury, Flashbacks,and Flooding as Programmed Responses, and How to Deal with Them.” Alsion Miller, Ph.D. “Open Discussion on the Use of Prayer for Christian Survivors of Ritual Abuse.” (Rev. Tom Ball) “Healthy Supportive Relationships – What They Are, How to Make One.” (Kitty Downey) “Art and Activism: What the Public Sees.” (Lynn Schirmer) “Hope, Healing and Help through Music and Advocacy.” (Mike Skinner) “Understanding Nazi Influence in Ritual Abuse.” (Alik of the OwlClan) “Sensory and Emotional Flashbacks.” (Jeannie Riseman) “The Intersection between Ritual Abuse and Physical Disability.” (Lara, BSW) “Forgiving the Unforgivable: One Survivor’s Journey to Peace” (Bonnie Bazill-Davis)  “How Survivors Can Help Their Own Cases for Disability Application and Appeal.” (Pam Perskin Noblitt) “Empowerment and Managing the Effects of Programming.” (Randy Noblitt, Ph.D.) “Normal Guilt, Guilt Induced by Extreme Abuse, and Some Suggestions for Working with Guilt.” (Jeannie Riseman)

Complete details on all our Webinars are at

We hope you join us — attending a Webinar is not much more complicated than making a phone call. You don’t have to have any special technical software or knowledge and it is a wonderful way to connect with other survivors.



August 14, 2010

OK…I admit it…I am getting a bit nervous…about the upcoming webinar. I am not sure why. I mean…it is not like there is some specific way that I must do it. It is totally up to me. However, I do have some minor dilemmas.

For one, I have a laptop coming. It is supposed to be here by the 19th. The webinar is on the 21st. So…I switched from the old dinosaur laptop that I was using previously to a better one that was given to us. It is just as old…but still better. It has its own issues, but is alright for the most part. It will certainly work until the other one gets in. I was hoping to jump from one right into the other without having to switch for a week.

Yet…there is a blessing in this. This laptop has Power Point on it. I was having to use Open Office on the other one. I had never used PP. It is definitely better than OO…much easier to work with…and, therefore, faster. So, that helps remove some of my nervousness.

It is also very difficult to know how to organize the art pieces. There are too many options. Date. Style. Event. Type of processing. Symbolism. I finally decided to do a general date order with a bit of batching by type. There may even be some grouping by the event being processed. It has been difficult to know how to do it. There is still much work to be done, but at least I now have a basic idea of what I am doing…a week before the webinar. I kept feeling it would come together it…but still…I find myself starting to sweat it as the day draws closer.

It does feel good to have been able to make a decision, of sorts, regarding organization. I still have to decide which (and how many) of the remaining pieces I am going to include. It is entirely likely that I will not get through all the pieces. I am including many more than I think we will be able to go through, but I figure that will give me some leeway as people ask questions. I may jump around a bit to share examples that might fit.

I really hope that I will be able to share something that will help someone else.


About the theme…and other stuff…

July 6, 2010

OK…the other theme was driving me nuts. I could not get the background light enough without washing out some of the text…and I could not adjust the color of the text. So…I am trying this one out for a while. It is called “Neat”. I don’t really have time to mess with themes any more right now.

On other lines of thought…I started a poetry blog. It has a real original title…NOT! But at least I am pretty consistent! A Survivor’s Poetry. You can either click on the link here or you can find the link at the top of the RSS blog links in the right hand column. I can appreciate that there are some who might only want to read poetry…or only look at art…so, I made a blog for each.

My computer goes back soon. I don’t really like it, but I also don’t like the idea that I might not be to get it turned on one of these days. *sigh* I don’t know if they will fix it or not. One guy told me they will send a check for sure. Another guy said the first guy had no right to say that…that they might be able to fix it…or send an entirely different PC. I don’t mind fixing…but I am not thrilled with a different PC unless it is the same kind or better.

I am tired. I am grieving. This grieving has to do with my ex. Not that I am grieving him…but as I see his family on FB interacting with my first marriage sons…well…I am just so aware of losing not just a spouse…but a whole family. I know it had to be…in my head. But in my heart…it is another story. There is a part of me who wants to say “hello”, but I was so vilified and lied about that I don’t really dare. I have regained some connections…partially…but not all…which is actually probably a good thing.

I am continuing to work on getting my art into jpeg format. The motivation is the Webinar I am doing in August. But this is also good for me…to have all my pieces sorted through and categorized and numbered. The Webinar is being done by Survivorship. I will put a link in the sidebar. The Webinars are being done as a community service and also to raise funds for ongoing Survivorship services.

As for my parents…still no word. Such is life.

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