Why You Shouldn’t Use Liturgy in Your Worship

October 22, 2015

Some really good thoughts here. As a former Roman Catholic, I understand what he is saying.

Engage the Times


Liturgical worship is coming back into style nowadays, though it has been around for centuries. Some people love it; some people hate it. We started using liturgy in our church several years ago. Here’s why you shouldn’t use it.

The Connections to the Ancient Church

Many people associate the use of liturgy with the Roman Catholic Church. Actually, the Romans were not the first to use liturgy. Liturgy developed in the Early Church, possibly having been influenced by liturgy from Jewish backgrounds. Using liturgy gives a sense of connection to something more than the local church. Liturgy allows a local church to feel connected to the universal church that consists of all true believers through the ages. Today, churches pride themselves on being independent, creating new things, and trying to “start movements.” Liturgy reminds us that we are already part of a greater movement of God’s kingdom on earth. If…

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Life Is Good…

September 26, 2015

Well, here I am! It has been two months since my last post. Other than some minor health issues, I am doing well. My youngest now has a car and a license and is going to get his certification in a field he desires. Hubby is back to work…with some health issues, but he seems to be making it OK. My life is headed into a different season than it has been.

Now, I should have more time for study, reading, writing, guitar playing and other things on my list…in between the resting I need to do for my health. With no vehicle, I will still be pretty much housebound unless my son takes me places. I am OK with that. Life is good. G-d is good.

How much I can actually do will depend on how much I can rest. Apparently, my body is fatigued from all the stresses I have been under for the last decade or so. It is now time to rest. I am OK with that. I am grateful to be alive.


Did not think it through enough…

July 23, 2015

I did not think through enough my invitation to my father. Did not discuss it enough. Even though my son brought it up and I did ask if he was sure, we should have talked more about how it would/could all play out. My son had to give a speech and it put him on the spot because he wanted to talk about his other grandparents who could not be there. It was awkward for him.

He brought things to give me. I could feel obligated to move forward in the relationship with him because of that. However, I did some good self-talking and processing. He chose to bring those things. I did not ask him to. I had asked a long time ago for one thing and he refused. This was his choice. I am grateful, but not indebted. Cults are all about indebtedness. They want us to owe them something…or at least feel as if we do. That is one way to keep us bound.

The timing of things was interesting. His wife leaving him and his apology. Is it possible I was tricked into inviting him? Maybe? I could have tricked myself for wanting some “family” member besides us to be at a special event for our son. But he is not really a “family” member. He is related by blood, but that does not make “family”…not real family.

I will NOT (edited in…hmmm) accept any strings…intentional or unintentional…connected to the visit or any of the things he brought to give me. I am free to choose to continue this connection or not and to define the connection on my terms. You cannot treat me like dirt and then ignore me for over a decade and expect a whole lot from an apology. I have given a huge gift. It is enough.


Dear Jeff…

June 23, 2015

You have apparently mistaken me for someone else.

Your situation sounds heartbreaking and I have no idea how to help you.

I really wish I could.

So sorry.  😦


After the “Visit”…

June 2, 2015

OK. So, my father came and left. I am still processing this visit.  It went “OK”. I am “OK”. It was a little bit awkward…naturally. I was very focused on my son’s graduation and making sure all was well with that. There is much I could write, but I am still processing and thinking about it.

I still don’t think he is dangerous at this point. But he is also still amnesic…or at least claims to be. I don’t think he would intentionally do something, but that does not mean he might not “unintentionally”. Those who are familiar with the layering that happens in SRA will understand what I am talking about.

Right now, I am concerned that he might think everything is “hunky dory”…which could lead to his thinking about moving up here. I do NOT want that…for him to move any closer. Yet, I do submit myself to my heavenly Abba’s will and trust that He will do/allow what is best. He is watching over me and protecting me. Anything He allows, He will cause me to grow through it and benefit from it.

I know…that is something that is hard to comprehend. I mean…really? So being accessed and raped after we moved here was used for my good? Yeah, in a way it was. Not that the event itself was good. But He protected me…in that instance…from worse things. And I did learn from it. It was a hard lesson, though, and I no longer will even consider meeting with a therapist who specializes with RA survivors. And no one else “gets it”. So, I just do occasional phone calls with my former T and I continue to trust my Abba.

I like this picture I did some time ago.



Life is good…

April 23, 2015

Life is good. It may be difficult at times to see that, but if we look for the good…we will see the good.

I can see.

I can hear.

I can move.

I can feel.

I have food.

I have shelter.

I have clothes to wear.

There are so many things I can do…so many things I have…that many others cannot and do not.

I am blessed…if I choose to see it.

If I look for the negative…I will find it.

If I look for the negative…I will embrace it.

It is my choice.

I know what I am choosing today.

How about you?


Father Part 4

April 19, 2015

I cannot say that I don’t sometimes have misgivings about this upcoming visit. However, inside I pretty much have peace about it. There comes a time for healing. Healing does not necessarily mean full blown restoration. Sometimes, there is nothing to restore. Sometimes, you just have to start over with whatever you have to work with.

Healing also does not mean trusting. Trust has to be earned, especially when it involves someone who has betrayed you in the past. I truly do not see us getting very close. He is nervous about coming here and I am bracing myself for meeting with him. Of course, I also have a lot to do for graduation, so that will help to keep my mind off the visit so much and also is a good reason for not going deep.

I am preparing myself for his wanting to meet alone with me. He has not said that he wants to, but knowing history, I expect he will request it. I have the right to say that I want my hubby there, too. I do not have to give a reason. It is my preference. Whether he is in the same room or right there in the middle of the sharing, I have a right to my preferences. Even though I know the programming is broken, I can still feel some of the older feelings of having to explain myself wanting to surface. Nope! Not going to go there. If I am not comfortable being alone with him, then I am not comforable and I have a right to do what makes me feel comfortable.

My father did allow me to live. I am grateful for that. He is created in the image of G-d just like everyone else. I respect that. However, respect does not equal trust. And respect for a position (as in being my father) does not equal respect for the individual person.

I will be sorting this out in my head and heart, I am sure, clear up until the visit. I have time to prepare and will make the most of it.  I will keep the lines of communication as open with my husband as I can. I also plan to try and find out what expectations my father has for this visit…while sharing mine with him. I have already laid down some preferences.

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