Posts Tagged ‘art’

h1

Day Three…

June 16, 2010

Day three was wonderful. I was very tired from constantly working the previous two days. So, I used the third day, which was shorter, as a day of “rest”…of just “being”.

I washed and replaced the bedding and cleaned up everything I used. Then I wandered through their library. I am a total book lover! There were several children’s books…some of which I read aloud…just for FUN! I also picked a couple of books to borrow…which they said was fine.

I just walked around…enjoying the space and admiring the beautiful view. I prayed and talked aloud and thought about some things I needed to think about without interruption!

It was truly a wonderful time. I did struggle a bit, though, after coming back to such a tiny space. It was difficult…but well worth it.

Here is the view from where I stayed.

h1

Day One…

June 8, 2010

My hosts have left on their trip and I am alone in the log house. We started off with a nice breakfast before they left. After breakfast, I was able to get online. Woohoo!

All my art pieces that I have with me are laid out all around the floor in date order. Several that are from the same date are stacked. They are not all “visible” because I put taped paper covers on some of my art pieces to keep them from smearing and getting onto other pieces. It is a good thing they have a BIG area downstairs. For a non-artist, it is amazing how much artwork I actually have. And this does not include my collages done in Word or my Wordle projects! Wow!

Here is a picture of the beginning and the end of the lineup. It starts in front of the door along the wall. There are at least 13 stacks with two or more pieces.

Here is the middle part.

Now I need to go back and make more art visible. I am going to divide it up by years first…and then probably by type. I am putting categories on 3×5’s. I am also going to make a 3×5 for each piece…although I am not sure if I will get that done while I am here or not. The biggest thing is to photograph as many as I can…hopefully with some good light.

h1

Questions and a Log House

June 6, 2010

I am going away tomorrow. I am getting nervous. I will be alone…in a rural area. Granted…just down the drive…right before the street…is a family I know. (The two properties are connected in more ways than one.) And the woman who lives with her family in that house knows I am a survivor…but she doesn’t understand what all that means.

I am nervous. I will be away from what is familiar in an unfamiliar place. Yes…I have been there before and have even helped in some of the finishing of the logs and such. BUT…it is not “home”. I am not that familiar. The root of familiar is the same as the root for family. We live with our families. We know our families. We live in our homes. We are familiar with our homes.

Even though I am not really “comfortable” in my little RV…I am comfortable. I know…that sounds contradictory…but familiarity is comforting. That is why children of alcoholics and dysfunctional parents oftentimes end up marrying spouse who are similar…even when they swear they won’t. Their spouses may manifest their dysfunction in some different way…but it is still there.

I am a cult survivor. Alone in a rural area has not exactly turned me on. Then again…sometimes I just have to adjust…and continue to trust the Creator. Yeshua has protected me in so many ways and my location is not a hindrance to Him one bit.

I have my list of things to make sure I bring. I hope I have not left anything off. The most important things, of course, are my laptop and my art pieces. That is why I am going there. But I know it won’t be the sum total of what I do there. I don’t want to be “busy”. I want to just “be”…to rest with no demands…no interruptions…whether that resting be reading, praying, napping, just sitting…whatever.

All alone in a log house…a large log house. Talk about ambiance. I should get some pictures of that, too.  I know they want some, but I am not sure what they want. I’ll try to remember to ask before they leave.

I will be bringing my comfort foods and the things I want to eat. I not only do not want to put them out for food (I am staying for free), but it is also nice to know what to expect. I don’t want to have to wonder where the boundaries are…so I am bringing my own. It is easier for me that way.

Earlier today…I started to sense hurt inside again. Could it be that my system is looking ahead to having the privacy to feel pain and express pain? No holds barred? It’s certainly possible.

I leave tomorrow evening. It is time to go to bed. I might get a little bit of reading time in. It depends on how long it takes hubby to get to bed.

Good night, everyone!

I hope I don’t forget anything.

h1

Blogrolls…

May 5, 2010

No…not dinner rolls…or the boat rolls…or waves roll…or any other kind of roll. Blog rolls. Every once in a while, I find that I am on someone’s blog roll. It never ceases to surprise me and amaze me. Each time, I think “what on earth do they find in my writings that make them worthy of being put on someone’s blog roll?”

Or I look at my subscriber list. Now…it does not show me who is subscribing. It is just a number. But that number represents real people who think my blog…or a particular post…is worth reading. Again…whenever I happen to look at that part of my stats…I am amazed. Moi? People think moi has something useful to say? Why? It makes me stop and think about why I write.

When I first started blogging, I was sick of the forum scene…not that all forums are bad…they are NOT! In fact, I have experienced some incredible healing in forums. Yet I have also experienced some of the deepest wounding. Plus, forums are limited in their readership. I wanted to be able to share with more people…and, hopefully, get more input. So, I decided to start blogging!

It was my hope…and still is…that when people read here, they find someone who understands…who “gets it”. Someone whose life experiences might not be identical (is anyone’s ever really anyway?)…but someone whose experiences emotionally, and maybe even mentally, are similar.

I hope that you can see someone who keeps on fighting…who keeps on pushing through…even when she wants to give up (like now…but that is another post). I hope that, as I share what works for me…and what does not…it might help you find something that works for you. Or maybe it will help you to not feel so badly if it is not working for you. After all…if it did not work for me either…then just maybe…it is not us. Maybe it is the whatever it is that we were trying that did not work. Or maybe…we just need to work it in a different way and we can help each other to find that way.

I hope that we can learn together. When people comment and share their thoughts, it stimulates dialog. I learn from dialog. I learn from others…which is why I read others’ blogs, too…when I can get to them. My life often makes that difficult, but I do make the rounds when I can. And I always try to find something to comment about in others’ blogs. I do that for two reasons. One is to let them know that they are being read. The other is to affirm them…to encourage them. I know what it is like to write and wonder if anyone is reading…if anyone is “listening”. I know what it is like to share struggles and get…nothing.

So…here I am…amazed again. I just discovered my blog in a blogroll at Crazy-making. I almost have to laugh. The name can sure fit my life at times! Crazy-making. I am working on making it less crazy-making. *smile* I am honored to be included. This blogger is trying to make lists of client bloggers (as opposed to therapist bloggers) and also art bloggers. Very interesting!

It reminds me that I have been wanting to get some of my art work up here…even though I am really not an artist. The focus of my art work is therapy. Believe me…artistry is NOT my talent. My difficulty in getting them up, though, is getting some decent photos of them. I took some  a while back…but I only got some pieces and the quality of the photos is rather poor. I have a much better camera now. It has been a project on my to do list for some time to go some place where I know I can probably get better pics of them. Better lighting. More room.  I need to get that done in plenty of time for me to put something together for an upcoming webinar I am doing on art therapy from a non-artist’s perspective.

Well…that’s it for now. I have lots to do today so I am not sure when I will get back here. It may not be until tomorrow. I hope that everyone reading is doing well. If you are struggling…remember that you are NOT alone! There ARE those who do understand…who do get it…and who do care. Be good to yourself. Also remember that there is a Creator out there who does want to touch your life…who wants to set you free.

h1

Surprise Art

April 13, 2010

I took some photos of a war memorial. Sometimes, things come out in photos that you don’t really expect…or are not really looking for. And yet…they can be so appropos. Tell me what you see in these:

h1

Wordle

February 15, 2010

Paul at Mind Parts wrote a post about Wordle..  I have been checking it out.

I LOVE Wordle. There is so much you can do with it. Thank you, Paul!

I have found that you can use CTR Z to go back through the ones you have created and CTL Y to go forward again.

These are a couple of the 30 I did using a word list I came up with a few years ago when I was processing an experience I had. I tried different variations of the same theme.

The purple is how I felt in the beginning. Then came the black ones, which left me with red ones, which represent my heart leaking all over the place. I was crushed and betrayed.

h1

Anniversaries and Bad Therapists

March 19, 2008

This is a cruddy time of year. The time between my sister’s birthday and the anniversary of her death…on my birthday…is hard. Add to that…bad therapists.

It was during this time last year that I was in between therapists. I had stopped going to one because things just did not feel right. I could not figure out what was wrong. For some reason part of me felt afraid when I would think of him, but I did not know why. So, this was the time when I was trying to uncover why the fear was there. And the anniversary of my discovery is coming up.

It was about the second week in April when I got my answer. My cult programming had been accessed and I had been betrayed and violated. Because of how it was done, I totally dissociated the whole thing. But it was in April that I started to get it back. I did several pieces of artwork in the process of working through it. Here is one of them. I wish I could get better pictures of my artwork.

Sadly, that was not the only betrayal I had to work through. I was also working with a t long distance via the phone and internet. I had met him in person and knew some of his clients. He was “helping” me to get to the bottom of this whole thing and ended being an arrogant guy who disrespected me and caused me a lot chaos and grief.

%d bloggers like this: