Posts Tagged ‘changes’

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Changes…

June 29, 2010

I felt it was time for some changes…like my header, for instance. It just seemed like the prior header was a bit somber and I wanted something cheerier. See the page Header Photos for the significance of the photo I used.

I have been working on the upcoming Webinar. So far…with the exception of a few drawings I found in a notebook, I have everything (I think) cataloged. My art is in different formats. Some of it is pdf, some doc, some Photoshop creation, some are physical pieces that are photographed. Everything that is photographed is cropped. A good portion are also watermarked and exported for webinar use. Only a few are actually in the presentation.

I have not made up my mind which pieces I am going to show yet. I am just preparing them all because I have to send my PC in on warranty. Yes…I am grimacing…especially since it looks like my hubby has to send his in, too. We have older ones we can switch back to…but they cannot handle the PSE8 software I use for my photos, etc. So, I am just fixing them all up. The presentation software should work OK.

There are more art photos up on the Healing Art blog. I am going to try and add one or two every day or so. But we will see…what with my PC and all. I really need to work on the Webinar…to pick those pieces. I want to make sure those pieces are all up by the Webinar date.

It looks like we just might be in a new place within the next couple of months or so. At least…that is what we are hoping.

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Heart of Stone

July 3, 2008

I hate doing hard things. But I am willing to do them and, with Yahweh God’s help, I do actually do them. Some seem to think, though, that my doing of hard things must mean that I have a heart of stone. That I have no feelings. Or that I do not care about others.

Well, one thing I have learned is that I cannot change others’ perspectives. Nope. It is just not possible. I can speak the truth as best I can; but ultimately, they will believe what they choose to believe. Sadly, that may be based more upon what is convenient and less upon the actual truth.

Truthfully, that hurts! It hurts to be shut out by those I love. It hurts to be pushed away from someone I was loyal to…someone I defended…someone I stood up for.

It also hurts to try and communicate with someone and have them respond to things I never wrote while ignoring some of the things I did write. It hurts to be accused of doing the very things that person is doing to me. It also hurts to have someone I trust write things to me that seem almost as if they are deliberately trying to trigger me. And it hurts to be pushed away by someone I stood up for and remained loyal to.

Why do all these things hurt? Well…some of it is how I feel myself. I won’t deny that. However, there is something much bigger going on. Each one’s behavior reflects things they are experiencing and going through. So, I also hurt for them. Yeah, there is a part of me that wants to be angry for myself…oh poor me. But what I am experiencing is nothing compared to what they must be having to live with.

Each one of us is the way we are for a reason. Good things have happened. Bad things have happened. They all impact us. They all contribute to us being the way we are…to our reacting to things the way we react. So…are we just automatons? Is there no hope of being changed? Of being able to see truth and learn new ways to respond to things? I believe there IS hope.

For me, the key to being changed is to allow Yahweh God to change me. I cannot change myself. I can make decisions to change. I can take steps in that direction. I can even accomplish quite a bit at times. However, there are some things that I simply cannot change.

The really deep, hard things…I must have help with. I must have Yahweh’s help. He sent me His Son, Yeshua/Jesus, as my first line of help. Then He sent His Spirit to live within me as another help…a huge help. He also sends me the information I need and the people to walk alongside of me…to help support me.

Ultimately, though, He is the One who changes me. I must co-operate…but He does the changing. He does for me what I am unable to do for myself. He is the helper of the helpless and there are so many areas in which I am helpless.

Yahweh God is my only real hope.

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Mother’s Day and Changes

May 11, 2008

This is typically a difficult day for me. There are several reasons. I know it is difficult for many others, too. My mother’s birthday is close to this day and on some years, even falls upon this day. I love my mother. I wish we could be close…but that is just not possible. She is not emotionally safe for me. Neither is my father. And they may not be physically safe, either. I don’t really know. But now that I know what I know…I may be considered a threat to them…at least in their eyes. I wish them no harm. I just want to live in peace with others so much as it is in my power to do so.

In fact, my desire to live in peace is causing me to think about making some changes in my life. I have been sensing that Yahweh has been calling me to do this and I have been dragging my feet. Oh, there is always something that comes up that seems like a good reason to wait. But now I am seeing the folly of waiting. If I am supposed to change something…it is best to do it right away. Otherwise…there just might be some consequences as Yahweh allows some things to happen to nudge me in the direction He wants me to go.

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Feeling Good and Positive Changes

April 16, 2008

I feel good today…better than I have in a long time. The day did not start off that way when I woke up. I was overtired for starts. It is so difficult to go to bed when I know that is the time when the flashbacks are most likely to happen. I so miss being able to stay up and just snuggle into the couch or into a big chair. I really like the old wingback chairs.

Right now I feel very confident that I am seeing positive changes within…that I am moving forward and realizing some things…again…that will help me to change some outward habits in my life. I am also tying up some loose ends…dealing with some unresolved issues. Yay!

I think the sunshine is helping, too. I like the sunshine and the warmer weather, especially after the long cold of winter. Deep breath! Ahhhhh…the fresh air of springtime!

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