Posts Tagged ‘simplicity’

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Keeping Up With Life…

March 28, 2011

We have run into obstacle after obstacle in trying to get the house to a livable condition. Yet, every time something comes up Yahweh supplies the answer. The provision comes. The fix comes. The help comes. Sometimes from the most unexpected places.

Life happens and G-d provides. I just keep walking through it. Some days are fairly smooth for me. Some days…like right now…I feel as if I can hardly even concentrate enough to write this post. Yet…I just keep plugging along. In fact, that is how I have gotten through many years of my life…just persistent plugging along…taking it one day at a time…and even one breath at a time.

Yahweh is good. He kept me alive…kept me going. He did not let me give up. He did not let me take my life. He did not let me go in psych ward. He helped me watch over my children. He strengthened me and helped me to grow. He protected me in SO many ways!

Why? Why did He do that? Is it because I am someone special? I really don’t think so…certainly no more than anyone else. Maybe it is because I so much weaker than many others. Perhaps I would not have survived a psych ward…or a suicide attempt. I know others have gone through things that I really do not think I would have made it through.

Or…perhaps my children would not have survived if I was not there on some level for them. I don’t know. I do know, though, that my children were a very strong motivation for me to stick around. I wanted to protect them in any way I could.

I can speculate all I want as to why I have had to experience some really bad things…and yet been delivered/protected from others. I only know that He is faithful…faithful to get me through it and faithful to bless me in it. There are those moments in time when He touched me so deeply that I thought I could barely survive that! From darkness to glory He has been there for me and with me. He is why I live and breathe.

So…now I am trying to keep up with life. That means not keeping up with everything I would like to…but that is OK. It is not that some things and people are less important…it is simply a lack of time and energy.

I am becoming stronger and finding ways to find some more balance in my life. Right now…I am still juggling some things. I am learning to be true to who I am created to be…learning to figure out what to juggle and what to simply let go of. I don’t know about others…but that is no easy task for me. It can be downright challenging.

All of my life, I was to subordinate to others…to put their needs first. Even after all these years…I am STILL learning how to pick and choose when to put myself first. I am also still learning when those times are. I do not want to be selfish…always putting me first. I just want to take good care of myself. It is better to do a few things well than to do many things shoddily.

 

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Living Simply

June 9, 2008

I find that I really need to live simply. Too many commitments…too many relationships…too much complication…contributes to my life being unmanageable.

I think of the recovery phrase: KISS

Keep
It
Simple
Silly (I prefer “simple” to “stupid”.)

I need to remember that. I cannot schedule too many things in one day…or things on too many days in a row. Of course, with gas prices so high, it is not like I can go out many days anyway!

I need to know my limits and live within them. That is part of good self care. Yet, on the other hand, I also need to not run from being stretched. It is in being stretched that I can grow.

Sometimes, being stretched means being confronted by things about myself that I need to face. In facing those things, and in owning what is mine to own, I grow. Each time I can acknowledge my own weaknesses and foibles and work with them and through them, I grow.

Sometimes growth is also not allowing others to put things on me that are not mine to own. That, too, is a sign of growth.

Growth can be very hard. Yet, on some levels, it can be fun, too. As I face challenges and see how my responses to them are changing…how I am actually working through them…I can have a sense of victory in my life.

It feels good to see myself responding to things differently than I used to. Even when I am still not doing it the best, I am at least moving in the right direction. And that feels good!

Healing is a process. There are times when it is an event…but mostly it is a process. I like another phrase…progress, not perfection. I will continue to be a very imperfect person, but at least I am making progress!

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